I have to say I am getting very pleased with the psychological work. I feel really blessed to have the chance of really removing from myself any seeds of any negative feeling and emotion. Yes, indeed, it takes a LOT of courage to work on one's negative emotions and feelings. It was indeed so much easy to feel anger , and rage, instead of looking into myself and removing the real roots of these negative emotions. First time in my life I felt anger and rage ? That was hard to determine to be honest. And yes, not everybody is blessed enough to be able to do that: It is not an easy work. But thank you for showing me the way. I have been extremely motivated to do the work on myself. To be honest, I am really glad that I was made to understand that " it is important to do the work on yourself to remove the negative emotions and feelings, as you certainly do not want to become a monster. Sooner or later what is inside someone is reflected on their face ". These are the ten non-virtues I have to study in detail : * Slander leads to Gossip * Gossip leads to Harsh Speech * Harsh Speech leads to Covetousness * Covetousness leads to Ill Will * Ill Will leads to Heresy The questions I have : - escuses/reasons/justifications, a person would use to commit the ten non-virtues. - how each non-virtue is due to a previous non-virtue. And, you are right : the most difficult is to forgive, and wish peace, love and happiness to those I first felt rage towards. Indeed, you are right : God knows more than I do. And who knows if this experience was necessary for me to clean up the real roots of my own negative emotions and feelings, and really develop some real inside beauty. Not easy to understand, and again thank you for showing me what I need to work on : not revenge, not retribution, BUT myself. First day in my life, I had the seed of revenge in myself? First day in my life where I learned about slandering, Gossip, Harsh Speech, Covetousness, Ill Will, Heresy ? Much harder to face than just complaining about the recent past.
Yes in the exercises, it seems easier to go the revenge route. Yes, I could have thought that forgiveness means condoning, being weak, being a coward. But now I realize that forgiving is really about understanding that I have to first remove the negative in myself that was there before all this crap happened. And yes, the more negative I clean, the calmer I am , the happier I am , the brighter my eyes. And more, in a strange way, I realize that all my negative emotions were created in me during my childhood !!! And in a strange way, I kind of put myself in a situation to attract this, so as to do my psychological/spiritual work. Conditionned/Programmed to revenge ==> Choose to forgive. It also helps during the exercises to go over real giants of history, and compare their experiences with mine and ask myself "if this Giant of history can forgive, what is really in me that make it difficult to forgive? " The truth came out very clearly : my own crap! Not the hurt, my own crap. Not an easy concept to understand, but I am very glad I understand that. So yep, I was able to find out what aspect I need to work on myself. Thank you again for the good advice.
I have to say my biggest regret about these 4 years of "tribulations" is that I have wasted time to do the projects I wanted to do: leveling the playing field. I would have preferred having my peace and quiet, trade well and finance/go myself be a factor of positive. Instead, I had to deal with some crap from people who would have greatly benefitted from some www.dhamma.org <iframe width="640" height="390" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/iY1vnClk_II" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> <iframe width="640" height="390" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/fdiBNDe1cFA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
-pimp and females : take your courage. The TRUTH, COMPLETE and FULL TRUTH to the "collaterals". From my own psychological work, really it is best for everybody you explain to the "collaterals" your role, and that everybody get the full and complete truth. Till the truth comes out, lies, slandering, etc... will continue. The fear of the truth coming out is what is keeping all this crap going on. May be "pimp and females" are scarred of retribution. Don't worry : they will show forgiveness in the same extent you were willing to show forgiveness. I really can not see Karma not taking its course in this whole saga. "Pimp and females" : take your courage. Trust the mercifulness of the "collaterals": they will be as merciful as you have yourself been. <iframe width="640" height="390" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Nsd64zyTgAs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
"Pimp and Females" : realise that among all the various type of "collaterals", some went into jail and apparently some also died in there. Keeping the truth out is totally unfair to their families. One day the full and complete truth will come out. If you take your courage, then, the consequences will be less disastrous for everybody.
Not a JOKE : this illustrates the psychological issues a trader faces. Just a question : scarred of the truth ?
Let me give examples: last week, I traded fine a tiny account. Raked in my $4k for the day. Then incident ==> anxiety ==> panic ==> unconscious took over ==> fear ==> made sure that I lost everything ( mega sizes and no prep). So psychology is important.
"Pimp and females" : it is for you to tell the full and complete truth to the various types of "collaterals". All this harassment, stalking, look-alikes, disturbing other people's peace : all of this will continue till the truth comes out, and it will. Please take your courage and get the full and complete truth out. Try the www.dhamma.org if you need courage. "Pimp and females" : the same mercy, compassion, forgiveness you have shown is the same mercy, compassion, forgiveness the "collaterals" will show. So demonstrate now as much mercy, compassion at least for the sake of the families related to the "collaterals".
Please do not waste time having restaurant staff asking about my private life ( "where is your friend?'). This is MY private life. Please bother about finding the courage to get the families of the various "collaterals" ( including all the pals) informed of the full and complete truth. Sooner or later all will come out. And as we can see, till all the truth comes out, all this crap will continue. "Pimp and females" : www.dhamma.org ( just know that pakis-indis do it as well ).