So say you do find a Holy Grail Method...

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by Smart Money, Aug 2, 2013.

  1. How do you/would you deal with it?

    OK, here's the situation.

    In the past, I thought I found a Holy Grail method. I got really excited about it and TRIED to explain it to a few of my friends. Here's the interesting part. I really believed I had it, and I was enthusiastic and excited. But the average Joe Schmo of the street just wouldn't care.

    If I came up to you and said, "Hey, I got this great method and it makes me money". You guys would be "TELL ME MORE!". But the average guy off the street doesn't care.

    Over the years, I kept looking. A few times I thought I found one. And I got excited about it...made money with it....but then there would be some aspect of it that I didn't consider...the market would change a certain way...and it would stop working...or I would find a problem with it that I didn't consider. Did I lose a fortune? No, because I don't use much leverage, so I never really get burned when I fail. Now don't misunderstand...I can make money without something systematic, but it takes constant vigilance. I know enough about certain set ups to tilt the odds in my favor enough to make money across a bunch of trades...but I've never found an edge that worked consistently enough to bank on...it was more like a bag of tricks.

    OK, so fast forward to today. I think I have one. A Holy Grail. Like the previous times, I feel pretty sure this is it. But this time, I've been using it for a month and making money. It back tests well, and conceptually, it makes sense. It's not terribly complicated, and has just as much to do with money management as it does whiz-bang charting trickery. But so far it seems to work. I'm starting to get excited again.

    Here's the problem. The Psychological issue. It sucks that I can't share it. I've put so much work into figuring this out, but I can't share it. Won't share it. It makes me about 4% a month. You and I understand that 4% a month is pretty good if you can make it consistently. But Joe Schmo off the street doesn't get that. I'm frustrated by the fact that I want to tell the world about this (seeming) victory. I've worked hard for this. And yet the world doesn't understand....can't even comprehend what it means. I'm a lone wolf.

    So why do I want to tell my friends? Because I worked so hard for it? How do I deal with the frustration that nobody in my real world cares? And even then, I know it's bragging, so I can't really tell anyone. And why do people go into an office every day and work their ass off with money, yet fail to appreciate something like this?

    It feels like I've been building a rocket ship in my barn. I finally launched it and orbited the earth. Now I get back and want to tell people about it, and nobody cares. Or I can't tell them because it seems like bragging.

    Honestly, I'm frustrated by the whole thing. Success that I can't discuss...you know?
     
    beginner66 likes this.
  2. Put it to work, take your account every month as the mental appreciation. They do not care - who cares, they work their ass off and you sip expensive wine on your terrace ;)
     
  3. NoDoji

    NoDoji

    Most everyone I know thinks trading is either gambling or something best left to a financial adviser. They're not interested in anything other than whether I had a tough day in the market when they hear the Dow closed down N points.

    I have some fellow traders I met here on ET who I can talk shop with.

    If you just want to brag, then I recommend go volunteer at an assisted living center. You'll make someone's day a little brighter and bring yourself back to right size.
     
    beginner66 likes this.
  4. sheda

    sheda

    When I realized what could be done with the market I was very enthusiastic, trying to explain to my freinds that there is another way, it pissed me off that they could not care less even though these very people would happily moan about their jobs and not having enough money. At first I concluded they were losers, happy to moan but would not put their money where there mouth is, they deserved their position in life as they were creating it, then I realized I wanted some one with me so I did not have to walk the road alone.

    But then when I started to do well I found I had the same motivation to direct those around me into it, even those who said I could never do it, I have taught a few people I know and have known for a long time but they have to want it. The ones I directed to it instead of them wanting it were a total waste of time.

    I still have that motivation, and I have no idea why.
     
    beginner66 likes this.
  5. EXACTLY! You're on the wavelength that I'm on. And yes, it surprises me how people will bitch about their lives and finances, but don't/didn't want to try to collaborate on finding a holy grail.
     
  6. gaj

    gaj

    i tell people i trade, i've gotten the "are you ok?" when the market's down big, etc. it's fine, i know they mean well, and i tell them that i just need the market to *move* and be right on the direction, sitting market = not good for me.

    i've got a patter down, where it will be "i trade stocks for myself, but i'm not like the big guys you see on tv." because i'm not. i've also told people i don't want to know what goes on in their company because i'll never (and i do mean never) trade that kind of information.

    i have a very small list of people who i'll tell when i do very well. one's a trader, other few aren't. my neighbor asked me the other day how i was doing, and i told him i was working my butt off the past couple of months. he said "that's good, right?" and i said yup. they have some vague idea.

    i've only had one person who kept wanting to know how much money i make, and i kept evading it with "well, i'm not trying to live like a super millionaire", then "i don't know ROI, because i never calculate it", and "i try to focus on making good trades, the money will come if i'm trading my strategies well."

    but most times, if people ask me how things are going, it will be a variation of "i'm very busy / things are quiet" combined with "i'm seeing things well / staying disciplined / not seeing things well / not being patient".
     
  7. Just like you have certain friends to discuss sports and others to discuss movies or philosophy, create a circle of friends to discuss trading, different people different strokes.

    It's also important to notice when you boring someone with the subject, for instance, I noticed my wife would fall asleep whenever I discussed something related to trading, so I stopped, plenty of things I can discuss with her, its important to not get obsessed with your line of work.
     
  8. Crispy

    Crispy

    Money/Risk management is the grail. Welcome to the party....
     
  9. The only real holy grail I can think of would be waking up in the mid-80's knowing to buy 1,000 shares of Microsoft. Not only would I become a millionaire but I'd be young again. :cool:
     
  10. emg

    emg

    #10     Aug 2, 2013