Hey Kurt, still in love? Married? Kids? Did you start trading again in January? Maybe you bought an Olive Garden franchise. Give us an update.
Hello old friends, My darling left me the night before Valentine's Day. The week prior I was still the love of her life and she bought me Laker tickets. That day she broke up with me and sold the tickets. She gave me a number of reasons all which to me seem like excuses for her to date a guy from her college classes. He plays the guitar. This is not the first time in my life I have been ousted by a typical, slimy LA hipster. I am not currently trading. I am leaving the prop shop environment for now. I am very close to getting a job that pays 45k. I will disclose more details once I am officially hired. I am going to make an account with TradeStation and trade for myself, on my own time. I am going to set up a 4 monitor trading station. I'll be a swing trader with a few day trades here and there during earnings seasons. I am very happy with all this. The experience at the prop shop showed me how the market operates on the intraday time frame. It showed me how the markets trade, how and why daily bars actually form. I can look at charts and know exactly what actually happened. However, the prop shop is not for people with accounts of 5k or less. It is true when they say, it needs to be money you can easily afford to lose. Otherwise, you end up fighting fees and daily performance rather than trading the market. This being said, the prop shop is not for me anyway, at least not now. I was denied better technology, issues all sorts of random fees, etc. At the same time, it is both a good and bad learning experience. Maybe not bad at all. You learn the markets on a very fine level. You also mature as a trader. It just takes time and mental strain, as you all saw. This being said, I'm not broke and my life is not ruined. I am fine. I know I need more capital and that is what I'm going to do, get more capital. I look forward to a solid stable paycheck and making real multi-day stress-free trades that make use of my market calls and know-how rather than grinding for dimes and quarters. Instead, I can write programs to do that for me. ---------------------- Anyway, to sum it up, I am seeking a higher paying job with a company you've all heard of. I think my chances are good. I'm going to build capital, get my own place, date new girls, pursue my hobbies, go on trips, etc. Once I have my account up, I will come back here and start my journal again, and no prop shop will be able to shut it down, because I'll be trading for myself. I miss my love so much, it hurts to have to move on, but I know I have to. I will focus on myself, if she returns one day, so be it. She has made a poor decision. She was obviously attracted to me, very much in love with me. Hell, on Christmas she told my whole family I'm the one. She even told me that if she ever did anything like this to not let her go. Whatever, if she comes back to me, we're going to have to have a talk. I can deal with emotional issues, but there are other things I can't deal with. Went to a strip club on Saturday with a friend lol In 2 months or less I should have my own place, a good job, and a better life for myself. The company will probably pay for my MBA. Hopefully her new love interest gives her the life I couldn't give TODAY. In the past, I would have fought for her. But she wouldn't commit, she wanted to keep her options open, etc. And as wonderful as she is to be around, that is not the relationship I'm looking for.
Chin up mate. I am new to your blog and enjoy your frankness I can be like that sometimes. There are millions of opportunities and new people to love in your future. Your experience with the prop shop is invaluable, worth millions if you want it to be. Good luck.
Dumped you the day before Valentines day, Ouch! Now that's harsh...sounds like she has no heart whatsoever! And she sold the Lakers tickets! I've met women like that, seems like she's been trying to play you this whole way through. Using you when its convenient and then dumping you when she feels like it. I can usually sniff these ones out and outplay them at their own game, but hey it can get messy at times lol. The thing with women that i've always held true especially the ones like your girl is that they tend to be more attracted/attached to you the less attention you give them. Kurt, these heartless b*tches don't deserve anything you have to offer, time to move on and get everything settled in your life. Women like that you can fool around with but don't deserve anything more. Sounds like you are moving on, but don't get duped into this sh*t again man!
Have a laugh, Hitman. She did you a favor which you will realize when you gain some perspective after additional life experience and making your first million or two. For your sake you will eventually cease viewing relationships from the woman's narrative. The fact that a guy sees being dumped before going through the bullshit of Valentine's Day as a negative...well there's a problem right there.
Did you not read The Game, as suggested earlier? You need to toughen up...you sound like a kid losing his first crush...except this is how you've sounded after every break-up/failed relationship/failed attempt at relationship/failed hit-on-a-girl-at-a-bar/etc. that has been (so well) documented in this thread. "My love"?? *Cringe* I'm telling you, fix this aspect...this weakness in yourself (and it is a weakness) and you will see an improvement in your trading. More importantly, you'll see an improvement in your life overall. Start reading today, please: www.rooshv.com Best of luck with the new job.
All the relationships where I know the girl loves her guy is when the guy is strong and doesn't live his life just for his girl. Don't put his girl on a pedestal. Regardless of how some want to. Maybe this girl is into this guitar dude because that guy is really into his guitar work. I recall one of my college friends trying to learn guitar to get attention from girls. He missed the point. Be confident in who you are and your own convictions (be it guitar, sports, or trading). If you believe deep down you will eventually be successful with trading and if she believes you, then that is your guitar. Of course, easier said than done. Trading is tough and I've often had my own confidence shaken by bad trading days. Focus on yourself. When one focuses too much on their girl, it can definitely mess you up psychologically. Haven't lived in LA but heard that dating is tough down there. In reading some exerts from your journal, your Prop trading firm's rates seem really high. Focus on doing more limit orders and with direct access platforms, you should cut down on fees with ECN rebates with limit orders. I just remember reading your journal and you were just getting eaten alive with commissions. I personally try to avoid market orders. I only use them when I absolutely have to.
Good post. Her long term crush, even while she was dating her ex, was a nobody musician who continuously put his music before her. Seems that is what she really wants. I guess after I stopped trading, I lost my 'guitar.'. Wasnt doing much except spending time with her and going to work. Tonight i went to a Macallan scotch tasting event in downtown LA. Before the tasting we went to get some drinks. Despite my objections, My friends got ahold of my phone and texted her "Don't text me anymore. it is your loss." She replies "trust me, i aint losing shit hahahaha" Guess that seals the deal haha. Few weeks ago I was the love of her life, and now I ain't shit. Madness. I mean, she has completely forgotten about all the good times we had, all i did for her, our story, everything. This type of crap really makes me want to rethink my positions on love. But I refuse to let her emotional issues ruin the quest. As cool as she was, she's just too volatile, she has some growing to do. But whatever. I have my job interview today, hopefully it goes well. Hell, with the money I can start playing the keyboards again and join my own band lol. Time to just focus on myself, get a nice salary, and put myself in a position for healthy trading, not desperate trading. Dating in LA is probably just as hard as any other major city. Just depends what part of LA youre in. Its very superficial, everyone is really into themselves. I guess LA Is saturated with entertainment industry douchebags, that is the difference.
You have to realize that women are emotional beings. That is where they can act like you're perfect for them one moment and think the opposite in another. Lame I know. On the plus since however, since they are emotional, they are also more able to switch around and forgive easier than guys. Like me, I can hold a grudge for long times but women are not like that. If you screw up with them, that is not to say that you can't win them back. Some guys think they have to walk on eggshells to please their girls, that is not the way to behave. Be confident about who you are, if they want to jump on your ride, it is your ride. You run the ride. Of course, they all test you but in the end, it is your ride, they're either in or out. I sense that you were putting her on a pedestal. Mostly likely you like her looks (most guys all think that - looks matter) but really don't let that distract you. Don't let them boss you around. The minute they do, is when they start looking elsewhere. Make them wonder about you not you wondering about them or at least not give that impression. It's fine to be concerned about their well being but don't over do it like you live your life for them. Guys who are good at playing on women's emotions know this and can work them over. Their minds are a little different but all in all they behave similarly. Never lived in LA but yeah superficial if people want to just get in a competitive entertainment industry. People make connections, not necessarily friends. But then again, life is about what favors one can get in exchange for another and so forth. I lived in SD for a while. I loved SD. Perhaps you should move down there. Lot of hot girls down there. Well you have a job to work on. Never considered LA myself. Too much traffic and smog. Plus like you said, Superficial people. SD is much more laid back and my style. Wished I was still there. In your spare time, read some trading books to gain more info to be a better trader. Just sounded like your Prop Trading place had a bunch of people dishing out misinformation. If they really wanted you to succeed and if they were consistently profitable. They'd tell you all the ins and outs but I suppose they don't and put you through the ringer. Don't give up on it. Do reading and even paper trade. Nothing wrong with paper trading. Been there myself. I've only been trading 4-5 months. I've improved to be a break even trader so there is a method to the madness out there. It's about how bad you want it. Yeah mentality matters but so do technicals like setups and entries. Someone here gave me some good advice when starting out: when you're not as sure of the direction of the market, wait and wait for the highest percentage trade possible which is very true. Don't just into a trade because you feel like it.