If you have a short put that is expiring ITM, how do you get early assignment before expiration if you want the stock for the dividend? The ex-dividend date is near the Nov expiration. Thanks!
You don't. It's the other guy's option, and he will exercise the option in the way that is most profitable to him (not to you). You sold him a right, and now you are at his mercy. In some sense, you already got the dividend when you wrote the option, since the ex-dividend event was taken into account in the option pricing at that time.
Can you request the broker to put you at the front of the assignment "queue" so you'll get hit first?
No, assignment is random. Also, a put holder will wait until the last dividend is paid before exercising early the put, assuming it is beneficial to exercise early.