*******NEWSFLASH*******FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE****** Short HF's are meeting with Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke today, seeking emergency measures to help an all-out implosion of their Funds. "We are asking the Federal Reserve to provide TARP funds backed by our rapidlly declining and or worthless assets", said a HF industry spokeman, who asked to remain anonymous, "kinda like they did for the banks last year, who were loaded to the gills with toxic long holdings". "We feel it is only fair to get unlimited access to virtually free money, backed by stuff we couldn't give away if we wanted to". Federal Reserve Chairman Bernanke was taking emergency calls, and planned to work a looong weekend, while taking breaks to do a lobster cookout, and to perfect his new favorite recipe for boiled frogs, which he was quoted as saying, "I am just putting the finishing touches on this exquisite recipe, should have it by Friday morning".