http://www.dealbreaker.com/2008/01/like_feces_throwing_monkeys_me.php#more Setting The Story Straight On The Merrill Bonus Rage Earlier this afternoon, CNBCâs Charlie Gasparino reported that some guy in Merrill Lynchâs fixed income research group had âinappropriately relievedâ himself in protest of the downsizing of his bonus. Merrill has officially explained that this was simply an unfortunate accident, and then the bank turned red and scurried to the other side of the room. Weâve been digging into this story because the way itâs told by the delicate souls at CNBC, itâs way to vague. What worse, the vagueness is giving rise to rumors that are totally untrue. It's fast becoming the Wall Street equivalent of an urban legends. Hereâs what didnât happen: a guy did not urinate on his desk because he was âpissed off.â The real story is so much worse. In the first place, it wasnât piss. It was shit. DealBreaker can confirm this much. After that the details get a bit fuzzy. The way we first heard it is that a guy took a dump in the rest room, stomped in it, and then dragged it all over the place by walking around with it on his shoes. Merrillâs story is that there was âan unfortunate accidentâ in one of the stallsâwhich we take to mean that some guy smeared his shit all over the bathroom because how the Hell could you miss the toiletâand that another person inadvertently stepped in it and tracked it all over. So now you know. But wait, there's more. http://www.dealbreaker.com/2008/01/the_only_bullshit_story_thats.php#more The Only Bullshit Story Thatâs Totally True: More Details Emerge Was It The Start Of A Civil War Between Equities and Fixed Income? Merrill Lynchâs famous bull logo has taken on a new aspect now that nearly everyone on Wall Street knows the story about the âunfortunate accidentâ that led to an employees shit being spread all over the place. And weâre not talking about a CDO squared portfolio. The incident took place on the nineteenth floor of Merrillâs headquarters in the World Financial Center, according to our sources. The floor houses the fixed income group. Bonuses for the group are said to have dropped substantially from last year, although the decline was not as bad as some expected. The more senior guys are said to be very upset at their compensation but associates are pleasantly surprised after having their expectations lowered so dramatically. But there may be more to this story than just a bonus rage. The story has been widely discussed within Merrill itself, and the predominant belief there is that it wasnât a dissatisfied fixed-income researcher who engaged in the fecal protest. Inside the bull pen, the word is that it was an equities guy who came over to the fixed-income department and âinappropriately relievedâ himself. He was supposedly seeking revenge against fixed-income for credit-market losses that have affected bonuses across the firm. The plot thickens.