Share your life's best lessons

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by iprph90, Sep 8, 2011.

  1. Max E.

    Max E.

    My 2 life lessons:

    1.)Do not take nude photos of yourself, or give someone else naked photos of yourself, particularly if you are a celebrity, as they will end up in public.

    2.) Do not tell the girl you are currently banging about lesson number 1.


    :D
     
    #51     Sep 14, 2011
  2. iprph90

    iprph90

    When commuting to work or driving leisurely on a Sunday afternoon, pardon up to three errors (not including damage to your vehicle) by other drivers. After that, you are free to use all hand orchestra and verbal poetry as you wish.

    Drivers who keep looking at their phones while waiting for the left turn signal to change and don't turn should not be granted the initial pardon. proceed immediately to hand and verbal motions.

    Seriously, how many time have you committed the same bad driving mistakes.....do you flip yourself off?
     
    #52     Sep 14, 2011
  3. volente_00

    volente_00



    Who says you have to believe in religion to believe in a creator?
     
    #53     Sep 15, 2011
  4. Wow - if you saw the documentary on CNBC about Richard Branson....this perfectly depicts his epic life.
     
    #54     Sep 15, 2011
  5. Hand Orchestra, I'd never heard of it put some eloquently before. You actually a poet in disguise? Do you write poetry while driving? :cool:
     
    #55     Sep 15, 2011
  6. Cassie

    Cassie

    +1 (not to hijack the thread, but I have a right to agree:))
     
    #56     Sep 15, 2011
  7. Anytime you start out a conversation with your wife and say, now don't take this the wrong way...you're probably screwed. as an example:
    Now honey, don't take this the wrong way, but there isn't a person on the planet I want to be with every minute of every day.
    For some reason that conversation didn't turn out well.:eek:
     
    #57     Sep 15, 2011
  8. iprph90

    iprph90

    Never, ever, compare your wife to another woman in her presence, even if you think you are complimenting her.

    If she asks you how she looks in a new dress- reply "hold on honey, I just got a nose bleed."...avoid answering this one like the plague.

    Try to develop laryngitis a week before her cycle.

    ....okay just a couple of internet jokes:

    My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
    She
    said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
    seconds."

    I bought her a scale.

    And then the fight started...


    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    After 20 years of marriage, I'm developing an attachment for my wife.

    It fits over her mouth.
     
    #58     Sep 15, 2011
  9. Alright, THAT was fucking clever, dude. :D :D :D
     
    #59     Sep 16, 2011
  10. i guess you wouldnt have to be. i guess you could believe santa claus created everything in his spare time if you wanted to, but why?

    christians believe in a creator because its in the bible not because of any evidence. they fear that if they question any part of the bible it could destroy their faith so they use willful ignorance to rationalize belief in a god as creator.
    if your not religious whats the point? why not just go with the evidence?
     
    #60     Sep 16, 2011