In a new rules change the SEC will announce today that all selling of stock will be banned starting tomorrow. Only buying will be allowed. When asked for comment on the fact that every stock purchase requires a sale, Chairman Cox stated "too freaking bad it's naked shorts that got us into this mess let's see naked longs get us out". The SEC would neither confirm or deny the rumors of proposed rules requiring all americans with brokerage accounts to buy stocks on margin. The SEC also would not comment on a different rumor that the New York Stock Exchange was going to be renamed "The New York Buying Club" As a note, it's getting difficult to tell which ridiculous headlines are true, and which are false. :eek:
Shit man , I wouldnt be surprised with this bunch of corrupt pussies running the treasury , and in the whitehouse.