Sad News

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by traderpro, Dec 27, 2007.

  1. I hate to be the bearer of sad news, but I must, even though
    the New Year is just around the corner.

    Please join me in remembering a great icon of the
    entertainment community here in America. The Pillsbury
    Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma
    complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

    Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of
    celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs.
    Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty
    Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The grave
    site was piled high with flours. Aunt Jemima delivered the
    eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never
    knew how much he was kneaded. The funeral was held at 3:50
    for about 20 minutes.

    Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life
    was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very
    smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked
    schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he was a
    crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions.

    Doughboy is survived by his wife Play Dough, two children,
    John Dough and Jane Dough, plus they had one in the oven. He
    is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
  2. . He
    is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. [/B][/QUOTE]

    Glad to see he was well - bread.
  3. Thats odd :confused:

    I heard his dad was toast
  4. A rye old timer he was.
  5. God gave women yeast infections so they would know what it is like to live with an annoying cunt. The doughboy didn't deserve this.
  6. Yes, its surprising he wasnt a sourdough.
  7. The dirty little secret is, the original spelling was doe-boy. But to hid the implications, the name was changed to dough-boy.
  8. nealvan


    I'd say he got burnt. His dad got all the jam but the boy was lucky to have gravy. At best both were sidekicks but everyone always buttered up to them. Rumor has it Aunt Jemima was the main course in the family but never got the limelight. She was actually white by the way but a bleached blond. That picture was their maid.

  9. The plot thickens.


    Poppin’ Fresh, the diminutive doughboy shill for Pillsbury, may have suffered from a serious eating disorder, according to a recent autopsy.

    Based on his reported height (8 ¾ inches) and weight (14 oz.) the Doughboy’s calculated body mass index (BMI) is a mere 9.6, which puts him below that of even Timmay in doughy gray matter (omfgwtf). By comparison, someone in a normal weight range has a BMI in the 18.5 to 24.9 range. Anything below 18.5 is considered “underweight.”

    While we can’t speculate on the cause of this disturbing weight issue, some have tied it to the Doughboy’s purported use of laxatives. Others point to his HipHop lifestyle, often downplayed by his corporate patrons at General Mills.

    Known as “Poppin’ F” among rappers, the 71-year old pitchman began freestyling in his commericals a few years back. Soon, rappers like OutKast and Kool G. Rap were paying tribute and, not long afterwards, there were rumors about East Coast involvement in the disappearance of the Doughboy's wife and kids. Then, today on ET, the Doughboy's own demise was reported in what might just be another Internet hoax.
  10. nealvan


    No pop got pasted by the mafia.
    #10     Dec 27, 2007