Reassuring my Wife

Discussion in 'Professional Trading' started by Moretti, Nov 6, 2008.

  1. Alternatively, keep the wife happy AND retain whatever money you have by just not trading. Ever. It really is a thankless task, it is at once the best and worst job in the world, and there are only a few of us that are actually any good at it. As someone has already pointed out, if you have to come on here and ask a) how to learn about trading and b)what to do to convince your wife that you should be trading then you really shouldn't consider it. You will lose money and much more besides. Opt for a different careeer that she will be happy with and is less risky. Like opening a nail bar. Or giving hot air balloon rides to tourists. The views will be splendid.
     
    #31     Nov 7, 2008
  2. Brabed

    Brabed

    My advice is take the time to learn the markets and if you really want to be a good trader, develop yourself a good trading system. This way you can keep the wife and let her know you're taking the time to be a 'student of the markets'. The more leg work you do ahead of time, the less risky it will be when you get into the real trading.

    I do not recommend paper trading. I used to think that with a good trading system, paper trading was the same as live trading, but I was wrong. Trading a small amount of money is the best way to learn how to react when bigger stakes are on the line. A 'small' amount of money will be relative to your situation.

    About the risk thing. People who have the 401k mindset believe that trading of any sort is 'risky' and that financial matters should be played safe. Risk is what you make it though. You can let it consume you, or you can be in control of risk. It is always there, but you can tame the lion and even put it on your side in some cases with enough research and mental work. By 'research' I don't researching a stock pick for PE ratios and all that, I mean research the X's and O's of the way markets act.

    I have followed my own advice and am happy in my trading career (still a second career though) and at the same time I have a happy wife. She just wonders why I spend 'so much time with that trading stuff'.
     
    #32     Nov 7, 2008
  3. lindq

    lindq


    Based on this information, your wife has a right to be concerned. She is probably concerned not only with monetary loss, but opportunity loss. Are there better things you should be doing to keep the family secure. That's always a wife's primary concern, and it shouldn't be ignored.

    And moving from p/t to f/t trading will not solve your problem.

    If this is something you absolutely must do, then a good suggestion was already made that you set aside X dollars with your wife's agreement, and use that as your stake. When it is gone, you move on. Otherwise you'll continue just to dig yourself into a hole.
     
    #33     Nov 7, 2008
  4. nevadan

    nevadan

    The best reassurance for her is consistent profits. Ironically, the best reassurance for you is if she is still around after consistent losses. As someone mentioned above, don't forget the time that is involved in learning to trade. That could become a major issue too. Good luck.
     
    #34     Nov 7, 2008
  5. karol88

    karol88


    I think it really depends on the personality of your wife. Is she rather pessimistic or optimistic about things? does she believe in you? Some women are bitches, always want to be right and love to boss the men around....I actually knew a RN, she would never allow her husband to invest in anything, unless it was her idea....she was the man...if that's the case, you'll never win with her.
    She is definitely right about the risk, especially because your record shows that you're not good enough YET...however, she needs to understand that great traders are not born overnight...it could take years of practice, $$$ lost...and without her support you might never make it. If she thinks that you're a smart man and she loves you, she needs to give you time (just like with any other new business) until you can start making some serious money, the reward will be great. If I was you, I would start trading as a hobby with a small account, and tell her that you're prepared to lose it all at first....but that the experience you gain will allow you to make it back later....
    Many people quit too early, because of lack of support....
     
    #35     Nov 7, 2008
  6. Moretti

    Moretti

    thanks y'all- for your thoughts and - humor too. this is a much better site than many others i've been on.
     
    #36     Nov 9, 2008
  7. bbqbbq

    bbqbbq

    well i would say.. get a f/t account of $10k.. lose the 10k, stop with trading. If you dont stop with trading after losing it, you probably dont have the discipline, since you made this rule and then didnt follow it. Because of this rule you will also probably be more disciplined with the money. Also because its 10k, you can trade more then 1 contract and scale in and out better to manage risk more properly. and i hope 10k isnt too much money in case you do lose it.
     
    #37     Nov 9, 2008