Who do you think you are? Stevie Cohen? Maybe I should tell my doctors to reserve a bed for you (I am a frequent patient at the local mental hospital ). Do you have health insurance? They would love to take you in.
Agree. Finding a trading style that allows you to get up and walk away from the PC for an afternoon or more if you want works wonders for quality of life. Also having a style that is not mission critical as far as software etc not performing as it is supposed to also helps. When I was ST trading crap software that didn't work as it was supposed to was a major emotional drain that just ground me down. I have heard it correctly referred to as tradings "dirty little secret". The fact is that none of the retail level crap you use works properly. if it just worked as it was supposed to that would be a major improvement. You can't be in a situation where your style depends on software working properly at all times. It doesn't.
It's hard to have a balanced view of the world when you are depressed from poor trading performance. I stumbled across this book and it worked wonders for me. It helped me improve my mood dramatically without the use of pills (which I hate to take). Once my mood improved I decided to step away from trading for a while. The break did me a lot of good. It allowed me to come back with a clarity I didn't have before. The book: The Good Mood Diet: Feel Great While You Lose Weight (Hardcover) by Susan M Kleiner Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Good-Mood-Diet-Great-Weight/dp/082128004X Authors Website: http://www.goodmooddiet.com I recommend downloading the Good Mood Diet Log to easily make sure you stay on track. http://www.goodmooddiet.com/good-mood-diet-club/ It's not a cure-all solution for everyone, but it helped me and over a year later it is still helping me. Suicide is a poor final solution to a temporary problem. I hope this book can help a few others out there who have seriously thought about ending it all due to trading loses. Give it a try. It worked for me and I'm sure it will work for you.
So, the facts are that you are 51 yo, no meaningful relationship at the moment and feel like a failure because you have not coped with the stress of trading while getting negative feedback from people around you. At 51 yo you need to think about the days when maybe your health does not permit you to be active, as well as "your legacy". You say you developed a website for 5 years, but with regards to the topic of that website it seems that you have some understanding of the energy business as well as computing. As you know - there are areas in the world with strong growth and business opportunities. I would say that trading is just a negative influence for you at the moment. A prolonged period staying away from it and reflecting on options and what makes you happy is just what you need. If you can manage to not fall for spending a lot you can take some time off somewhere and recharge your energy. Finding a new woman is definitely not difficult, but no one likes to watch anyone spiralling downwards or not reacting to a bad long ongoing trend. Wrt to gas and energy - south america has a lot of things happening - and women are also rampant if you can handle the different culture and temperament. If you travel a bit you can get time to reflect and some new perspectives, and what matters is that you find back to the calm and confidence you had earlier - but obviously now shattered by bad trading experience and relationships. If you managed to get that website running and turning a profit of it you certainly have an eye for doing business - and have not lost that. So, analyzing where it's cheap to set up shop - a low-cost country could be something you could look into. Offshoring and outsourcing is all the rage nowadays. Rebuild your funding and look into where you can become successful and happy at the same time. With time as well you will see better what were your mistakes, and most importantly psychologically, how you could better handle that. Maybe then you will find it's time to revisit active trading, but for now the best advice here has been take a break. I would never say that you should never trade again, or that you don't have what it takes - it's probably just that the losses and time of negative feedback has taken it's toll on you. Time for a vacation while you still can. Some great and experienced traders have responded earlier - and I think the consensus is that you should take time to reflect. Do something that makes you happy - and satisfies your craving for success for the time being - and you'll be healing just fine. Maybe you'll never turn back to trading - but that wouldn't matter as long as you have personal success and are happy. PS! I'm in my mid thirties and live in Brazil since around 1999 and moved out from Europe after selling (mainly) a videoconferencing and ip-telephony specialized consulting company a few months before the dot-com burst. I did index/FX futures scalping and stock trading professionally for some time, but with protracting slow markets I focused on what I saw as better growth for myself and now do outsourcing and offshoring of IT from Europe to Brazil. Now, I'm getting more free time on my hands again and like the markets - so I'll look into doing more trading - because I like it and always did. I would say I've mainly used the last 10 last years to think and reflect, but I like philosophy and sciences a lot. Can't really complain about brazilian women as well. In my spare time I study whatever I find interesting at the moment, do some windsurfing and hang out on the beach when I can.
i know exactly how you feel. why? because i was in the game for almost 8 years until i became profitable. however,there was a huge price to pay for my so-called learning experience;my life savings. yeahyou heard me,my friggin life savings. not to mention the toll it took on me mentally(thats another story). after its all said and done,i have virtually no savings but i do know how to trade and with that newly aquired knowledge i am confident that i will recoup my losses over time. there is a very fine line between trading and gambling so always be careful to stay on the right side of that line. another poster mentioned how traders attempt to "break even". thats a gambler and i was guilty of that and many other things. please,take it from me,take some time off and get a job before you fall into a depression. you seem like a nice guy and i don't want to see anyone go through the crap i went through.
Hehe, a lot of new young traders have made fortunes on Bovespa and BM&F the last few years. But considering normal brazilian wages, I would rather be in Brazil on a prolonged vacation and enjoy all the fruits you like to get you hands on.
Please read the following thread, a lot of encouraging words & ideas: http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=128230 Try to learn something of trading by paper trading (without actual currency) & then when confident switch to real money. Do part time trading as you have two incomes from trading & job.
It is likely not relevant at all, but if i was in your spot i would start a house painting business. read up on how it is done, practice by repainting your own place, then go around and get some jobs. hire a crew pay em $12 an hour, buy the equipment. If u do a quality job, referals start coming in like mad before long, and u can start additional work crews. U would be suprised how easy it is to make coin when u are selling something and offfering a quality service. Alot of the losers here would do well to figure this out! Forget trading. U are just punishing yourself with it. Continuing on from your spot is not brave, but most likely suicidal, foolheardy, flat out the WRONG move. Some day when u are feeling better u will look back and laugh.