May be I can give an example ( very exreme), few stuff changed, but you will get an idea. One guy who was heavy drug user and all his siblings were heavy drug users too. - how did you ( mum, dad) meet ? dad : at a bal mum : I asked my friend to bring him to a party because I fancied him - what were your situations and issues when you met ? dad : he actually had to get married to the mum because she fell pregnant and he was from a "good" family. the woman he really loved and wanted to get married to actually died of cancer the day he married the mum. mum: I knew he wanted her, but I got him. - what were the problems in your relationship when you were together up to my age 4-5 years old? dad : nothing. I worked, paid all the bills. I just loved alcohol, like my own dad. Intoxicants are in the family. mum: he never seemed happy. He never shouted, but he never wanted to do anything. - did you love each other or were you in co-dependent stuff playing out your psychological/spiritual issues ? dad : I did the right thing mum: I loved your dad - how was I conceived ( was the sex between you actually wanted ? were there issues there? ...) dad : most of the time, I had drunk mum : he was a good provider, so I did my "duty" - was I actually wanted, expected before I was conceived ? dad : I cried when I saw you ... I never wanted to have kids ( after probing : with your mum) mum: I wanted a large family - what psychological/spiritual family baggage do I carry from you? dad : substance abuse. Your grandad died young from alcoholism, I will also die young from alcoholism. All of you are into intoxicants. This is in the family - what were the main things you transmitted to me from conception till say 4-5 years old ? I always felt depressed , not wanted to live, very sad. You need to look to everything when working on your psychology/spirituality. The family is most often than not, the real issue/cause. Not really what happened when you are adults : this is just playing the same childhood tune.