For this type of stuff, when its still fresh in your mind, just take it all in and enjoy the moment. Its important to not indulge in activities that would undo your hard work. This is not the CBOT or the MERC, and meet up with your trader friends to compare notes and get loaded. We are internet nomads, this effort is much more dear to you will have a lasting affect on your personal well being. Go for a walk, get some fresh air, take a moment to reflect and enjoy the moment. This is a lonely occupation, regular people could never understand what it takes to do this type of work. We're part of a secret society and this is real cool.
Next in my journal: how every time I have been successful beyond expectation, something always tries to mean revert me and how I deal with it.
Same process but if this event was relating to (the move or run delivering beyond what you expected?) some things can be identified but if it's relating to a random event, than I'll have to pull out my Tarot cards
Let's put it like this: I've been in jail more than enough times, never finished school, my background statistically dictates that I should not be making as much money as I have made in my career. I am tied in with a lot of people from my background (ex-wife, family in particular) and they make it their mission to make sure I don't go beyond them to the point where they will support people to get in my way. I think I should be farther along than I am financially and personally, but statistically I know that I should not be. I find it extremely difficult to leave this thought behind. I have met no one in my life who has had to deal with the things I've had to deal with and made it out successfully. So really, the next level cannot be achieved without taming this thought. The thought that I should not be where I am. It isn't imposter syndrome. It's more like "when will the rug be pulled out this time and where will it come from" syndrome. I firmly believe in myself. Considering relocating to some tax haven, tbh. I know I can make money anywhere. But this won't tame the thought. I must tame it.
I got extremely lucky, this was my largest week ever. I made no decision to short based on corona virus, just followed the market. However, I did make tweets saying it was a bad idea to short based on the virus news. Between last Friday and today, each day was larger than this amount (this is today's P&L [deleted]): This feels surreal, never thought it would be possible for years. And the crazy thing is I feel completely comfortable doing it. So now my account is back to break even! (Kidding! Or am I?)
I didn't post about this earlier but I wanted to. During this week, a lot of the time it felt like life or death until the hedges were paid for. And when I finally saw the light, that things would work out bigly, I almost fucked it up on purpose. I recognized that I was about to do that and stopped myself from doing anything, redid my analysis and let the trade play out.
These quotes, I can't get enough of them, they just bring me up, so many great people who are no longer with us, have left these quotes to behold, to help us, through our trying times, these quotes are better than money, its hard to put a value on how you feel when these quotes help you out of a rut. Stopping yourself, for sure, its that rubber band affect, mind trying to pull you back, this is a betting game, your mind can and often will play tricks with you, but since its a bet, best to leave it alone, its either a win or loss, its not over until the fat Lady sings. Glad your catching yourself, even if you were to lose, its better to lose than to be angry about pussing out too early only to find out it was a big winner.