Read the journals from page 1 of the PVT. When you get that done trade equties for a year or so like everyone else did. When you get to intermediate on PVT. let is go at that. You cannot do SCT, you are way past the point of fear, anxiety, and anger for doing anything in SCT. You crossed the line in the CO and it is now irreversable for you. You cannot build, mentally, all the bariers that are required to surround your present belief system. You chose to get to where you are. Many many people have pointed out your pretzel reasoning processes. your reasoning processes cannot be forgotten nor can you build enough barriers to surround them. All the extreme efforts you made here are in your mind and it is literally filled with stuff so large no barrier can be built around that stuff to enable you to begin to understand how we work in the journals. You took fact after independant fact and tore each peice to shreds by making your mistakes over and over. You cannot read, at this point, anything anyone would post constructively to educate you. There is no way any life preserver is going to work to fulfill your current extreme broad requests. No one here owes you what you are trying to GET.