PENTAGON REGRETS âFRANCE SUCKSâ MEMO Timing 'Unfortunate,' Wolfowitz Says The Pentagon said today that it regretted releasing a memo indicating that France sucks just hours before the U.S. was to ask the French to forgive billions in Iraqi debt. "The timing of the memo was unfortunate," said Deputy Defense Secretary Paul Wolfowitz, who authored the memo. "We should have released the memo after the French agreed to forgive the debt." In concluding his mea culpa, Mr. Wolfowitz said, "Our timing, much like France itself, sucks." The Wolfowitz memo, which was entitled "France: Why It Sucks," was the talk of diplomatic circles in Paris and Washington today. "If Monsieur Wolfowitz believes that France sucks, he is certainly entitled to his opinion," said French Foreign Minister Dominique de Villepin. "But there was no need to list 1,001 reasons." For his part, Mr. Wolfowitz agreed that the length of the memo was a "rare misstep for me," adding, "I should have gone with my original idea, 'The Top Ten Reasons Why France Sucks.'" Attempting to mend fences with France, Germany and Russia, who were still fuming about being shut out of bidding for reconstruction projects in Iraq, Mr. Wolfowitz said today that the U.S. would permit the three allies to bid on "one-of-a-kind memorabilia" on the auction site eBay. The first eBay item mentioned by Mr. Wolfowitz, an autographed program from Cher's Farewell Tour 2003, went to Russia, who was the highest bidder at $10.50. In other news, former General Wesley Clark shook up his bid for the presidency today, replacing his campaign staff with NATO troops. www.borowitzreport.com