Happened to me lots of time. my way to get over it is: detach myself from my emotion with any symbol, setup, trading idea, trades. I think the bad trade is an indicator. Normally I will turn my view upsidedown, and reverse it. if I saw my trade red, first I will think the market is right and I am wrong, I will get out and find a way to put a reversal position. most people will do the opposite, when they saw their position is in red, they think they are right and the market is wrong, that is why they will ask "why me", market does not know you, how can the market set you up? detached to any idea or any trade. if a trade is bad, then pass it by, move on. do not look at it at all. do not try to learn a lesson. just accept the fact it is a bad trade. Never put emotion into a trade. the market is always right, it is you who are wrong. any trading idea if bad, so let it be, do not be involved in any emotion into it. the more into it, the more likely you can not reverse your self and put you in the winning sitution.
You are comparing paper trading (in red) to real trading (in green).. With those successful paper trades there was no money on the line so you tend to pick exits at the best time for maximum profit - no getting shaken out of a trade at a bad time. Then when you place a real trade your emotions take over and you tend to handle that trade differently. Sort of like comparing apples and oranges.
I think you may be on to something there. As long as you don't actually do it, the dream is still alive.
I am actually quite surprised after reading thru the 6 pages here that not a one has recommended what for me... well... for me was a life changing event that helped me overcome my fear of pressing the trigger: Read "Trading in the Zone" by Mark Douglas. I'm convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that if you truly have an edge* in the market, but simply can't get over the "fear" aspect--- that this will be the catalyst that will put an end to your fear IMMEDIATELY. And I say "immediately"... because if it doesn't... then trading isn't for you... for there will not be anything else that anyone could say or do to make you overcome the fear. The words of wisdom and insight in this book are that powerful. Don't take another trade ever until you read this book from cover to cover. * P.S. The book PRESUMES the reader has an edge... a proven successful (profitable) strategy for extracting money out of the market on a consistent basis. The entire scope of material deals with the "fear of pulling the trigger" stigma. If no edge-- stop and go no further until you first figure out how to establish an edge. Then read the book.
Trading in the Zone is the trader's bible (as Riff said, assuming you have an edge to start with). I've read it four times now and this is a daily morning "prayer": 1. Anything can happen 2. You don't need to know what is going to happen in order to make money 3. There is a random distribution between wins and losses for any given set of variables that define an edge 4. An edge is nothing more than an indication of a higher probability of one thing happening over the other 5. Every moment in the market is unique
He nailed it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8iK_0qnKqWc&feature=BFa&list=PL7E73E3050DCC0CD8 Thanks for awaring me.
IMO when dealing with matters of the mind, immediately is not a word I would use. Altering ideas and beliefs is a process and depending upon how much energy is supporting those ideas and beliefs and concurrently how much "correct" energy is put towards dis empowering those beliefs and ideas will determine the speed at which they do not affect us. Think of it as a see saw, on one side is the negative beliefs we have about the market and on the other side is the corresponding characteristic of how the market actually works, our job is to transfer energy from our negative beliefs to the other side, which is the market reality. Now it is certainly possible that a particular person is "stuck" on a certain issue and by reading MD's book and they have an aha moment, and they are able to do his 20 trade exercise, but that is just because they have been laying the foundation already. Think about how mentally challenging trading really is, especially for the male population, with our ever present ego. It doesn't matter how strong you are the market is STRONGER, Good looks, it doesn't care. Alpha male, ha it's the ALPHA MALE. Have a need to be right, guess what it is ALWAYS right. For everyone having a challenge in trading the markets, take the time to right down the characteristics of the market, really break it down to how it works, and then as a test, just sit and watch your fav symbol and be consciously aware of your thoughts, write them down, compare them to the characteristics of the market, are they in alignment with the nature of the market. Get to work. We will never defeat/beat the market, we have to come into alignment with how the market functions, until we do that all of the edges in the world won't matter because we won't be able to consistently apply them.
I probably should have prefaced that with "in my humble opinion"... LOL But the reality is for me-- it was indeed "immediate". Not sure if you've read the book and/or had the same issues... but I had two other skype trading buddies for about a half a year try and convince me to get over my fear of pulling the trigger with various words of wisdom... none of which did anything for helping me overcome the obstacle... only after reading the book did it literally become an epiphany for me.
the worst book I ever read. that guy failed in trading, and make money by writing books. most failed traders end up in trading tutorials, writing books to earn a dime.shame shame! real profitable traders do not write books. Fear is because you do not have deep understanding of the market. if you have a good understanding, there is no fear at all. do you have fear if you know beforehand the chart? No. if you drive routine to your working place, you will have no fear. but ask you to drive to a never been place, you will be nervous. use willpower will not conquer fear. since you know you do not know what will happen, either good or bad, if bad it hurts. before opening, I know what I should do, so I am fearless. why I know what I should do, I do the research beforehand, plot my trade beforehand, and the market conditions and suitable strategy, even mentally execute my trade. I know how much I will lose beforehand, that is my bottom line. so everything is just like routine, on the table. just drive a car to a routine place, there is no reason for fear. I am keeping selling AAPL those days. I do not bother those little pops since I know there is always some guys who try to buy dips. it is ok. my put options even get menced 80% first then finally ride out with big winning, who cares, that is the risk I take. Mark Douglas is a loser in trading. never think his books have value. when I come across any one who eperienced trading, they always lot to say. those are losers.