Well... this is kind of difficult for me to admit... back in college, I was selling warm and stylish Italian boots to well-off Eskimo women, but somehow managed to fail miserably at that no-brainer of a job and swore off sales as a career for good. SarahG... you poor thing. Not only do you have to limp through life without a penis, but you also evidently lack any ability whatsoever to recognize irony or sarcasm, staring you in the face. Please accept my sincere, double condolences. Anything I can do to help?