Why won't Obama laugh at himself? Because it would be racist. What does Obama and Osama have in common? They both have friends who bombed the Pentagon. Why did Obama change his name from Barry to Barack? He thought Barry sounded too American. What is Obama's favorite lunch meat? Mao Tse Tongue. Why is Obamacare like an apple a day? It keeps your doctor away. If the Obama administration was a football division, what would the teams be called? The Stealers, the Bills, the Chargers, and the Lyings.
Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to Obama, "What would you like to talk about?" "Oh, I don't know," said the Obama. "How about What Changes I Should Make To America?" and he smiles. "OK," she says. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl's intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, "Hmmm, I have no idea." To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don't know shit?"
Why did George Bush vote for Obama? Because he didnt want to be the worst president in history. Why didnt Obama salute the American Flag? Because it was ours. If Obama had spread the wealth during the election...how would it have turned out?
The Economy's So Bad . . . Obama's economy is so bad that I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. It's so bad, I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" Obama's economy is so bad that CEO's are now playing miniature golf. Obama's economy is so bad if the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. Obama's economy is so bad Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. Obama's economy is so bad McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Obama's economy is so bad parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. Obama's economy is so bad a truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico. Obama's economy is so bad Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. Obama's economy is so bad Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. Obama's economy is so bad the Mafia is laying off judges. Obama's economy is so bad Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen
You remember the Reagan era, when Ronald Reagan was President, and Bob Hope and Johnny Cash were still with us? Well, now we have Obama, no hope, and no cash.
You know what's the main problem with Barack Obama jokes? His followers don't think they're funny and everyone else doesn't think they're jokes.