Negative reactions from relatives

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by Nobert, Nov 18, 2020.

  1. Nobert



    When it's someone from your close family circle.

    The husband, of my younger sister, is acting in a weird fashion, when ever it comes to finances & my journey. Dropping strange comments, that leaves you wondering/confused -
    ,,was that a joke or what ?''.

    Between you and me, - he is narrow thinker, probably an average IQ person, for whom grasping the vision of the future - is something just - ,,impossible''
    (no ego in that which i just wrote, it's just the way of reality at this moment, based on my sincere judgement)

    Something like that happened this morning & it's like - i had enough (3'rd time). Blocked him on social media and at the Christmas table, - my seat will be empty this year.
    (each comment is like a poison, that might stay with you, for a year or even a lifetime, so better just to avoid)

    If it was some classmate back from 10 yrs ago, then the choice would have been way much quicker.

    Questions :

    how do you maneuver - when it's a close family member ?
    A question especially for those who are well advanced in their success stories & life overall, - do you ever get back into relationships with those people ?
    Did they admitted that they were ,,wrong'' or did you just choose to kinda ,,ignore it'' ?

    Thank you.
    Last edited: Nov 18, 2020
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  2. zdreg


    May this dilemma be the biggest one in your life.
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  3. KCalhoun

    KCalhoun Sponsor

    I avoid toxic people entirely, it Never gets better
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  4. I am the person you describe. Especially in my younger years.

    I was brought up in a household where sarcasm and negativity were normal, everyday behavior. I did note when I met some people, they would draw away from me quickly and unexpectedly. At first, I did not understand why. Eventually, I figured out that most people did not want to be around sarcasm and negativity. It was not until I attended a seminar that I fully appreciated all the people I hurt. The instructor was a world class sales instructor who suggested it is best to stay away from negative people because their negativity will bring you down.

    Since you mentioned this was a family member, avoidance may not be a viable long term option. It is a possibility the person in question is not fully aware how hurtful their comments are, like in my situation. However, if you approach them directly about this issue, they will likely become defensive. One idea would be to transfer the problem to a hypothetical or actual third party and ask your sister’s husband for his advice on how he would handle the situation. Done in sufficient detail and skillfully, you may increase his awareness that certain behaviors like his are offensive without triggering a defensive reaction. This route is not without risk of offending him, but you did say he was of average intelligence. Some forethought of what you plan to say will increase the chances your story will go smoothly.

    Seeking professional advice for this situation may be your best option.
  5. fan27


    I don't recommend bailing on your Christmas gathering. Really, you need to deal with the situation directly by either pulling the guy aside and having a chat with him or "counter punch" hard the next time he makes one of these comments. I had a similar situation with an aunt of mine and went with the latter approach. She was shut down immediately.
  6. dealmaker


    Let his snide remarks fuel your success. While staying clear of toxic people is an excellent advice don't create a schism within the family; develop a thicker skin.
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  7. Arnie


    It's best not to share that you are trader, especially if you are successful. No good can come of it. Play a lone hand.
  8. MarkBrown


    you see the same thing here on et, people are jealous and have no idea how hard and how long someone has worked to have fine things. they graduate from college and reality sets in it's not all fun and games like they were promised by the professors.

    instead of sucking it up buttercup they want to tear down - have a german pal that told me once.

    don't argue with the pigs because they love the mud too much and they'll drag you in it.
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  9. SanMiguel


    Either you're equated to a gambler or if successful then it's
    - how can you take money off other people like that or
    - how can you be a short something, you're clearly a speculator crashing the market
    Nobert likes this.
  10. CALLumbus


    Dont worry about him.

    Try to act kind of nice, for your family.

    If it gets too much, get a bit away and have some fun with hookers and black jack, release some pressure.

    If you are really something, sooner or later they will realize this... at least when you park your Porsche GT 2 next to their old Toyota Hickups.

    If you dont make it, then he was right with what he was saying and you can become real good friend with him, have Monopoly nights together and other cool stuff.
    #10     Nov 18, 2020
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