need HELP guys, this is a bad situation

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by riddler, May 31, 2010.

  1. riddler


    i started dating this hot woman who introduced me to her very large family yesterday. i was invited to her parent's very large home. now,keep in mind it was a very old but large home. anyway,we are all at the dinner table,about 20 of us and already i knew i had a problem; the food was horrible. i was about to scream" can i order a pizza" but i bit my tongue and decided against it. i just started pouring myself lots of water to flush out the taste when all of the suden i need to use the bathroom; and man do i mean quick. no, i did'nt need to take a leak,it was the runs and it was bad. so i excuse myself from the table and man am i sweating,it was all a blur but my focus was on getting to the oasis in the desert (the bathroom)> i get there and realize the bathroom is almost next to the damn dinner table,i'm flipping out. how will i drown out the noside. damn,i'm puttin on the faucet,this can be embarassing. i even start to whistle . anyway,i do what i needed to do and talk about the smell of road kill,this was bad. i then decided to open the window for some ventilation but guess what??? no friggin window. i was biding my time then the much dreaded knock on the door happened.."excuse me,are you ok?" i'm like yeah,how about you? anyway,i need to get rid of the stench and quick. if this door ever opened i'm going to wipe out an entire family at the dinner table. no way i'm opening this door. just when i thought i should just slit my wrist,i see a screw driver on the floor next to the sink. i then started jabbing holes in the walls which lead to the outside, about 8 holes. finally some ventilation. i then waited a few minutes and then calmly walked out the door. i now know what guys going to the electric chair feel like..i was literally a dead man walking. don't get me wrong,i was met with much skeptisism and mystery but i sat down and immediatly started talking about world war 2, don't ask why,i just needed to talk abot something. anyway,some jerk says he needs to uses the bathroom. my head started spinning. the guy goes in and says..what the hell,someone put holes in your walls. i was about to look for a quick exit stradegy when the mother of a liittle boy starts screaming at her kid about putting holes in the wall. the little boy swore it was'nt him and thats when i little boy, its not nice to tell lies,do you want to go to hell and live with the devil? the little boy said no and i said good,now go put some spackle on the holes and when it dries,sand it and paint it.
    i learned a valuable lesson. always use a bathroom with a large window. anyway, here is my problem,should i teach the little boy how to spackle a wall?
  2. taking amphetamines much?
  3. please get professional help
  4. Get a job on a garbage truck, the fiction writing ain't cutting it.

  5. lol Rennick, you are brutal!
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