I would never dismiss the importance of a father. Nor would I blame a learning skill on his presence, or absence. But having a father in the home is of little value if he too is not pushing the right buttons. The image is not of much value if the father has four or five other children all around that he is not going that extra mile for either. Can you say, mixed message? I do personally know many single parent households that hold the attention positively of some extremely capable children. The key part of your phrase here is "guidance of responsible, mature." Success can also be achieved by just one adult with these qualifications. Many of the households that I know do use the assistance of role models. Reachable, touchable, realistic role models. Unlike many of today's athletes, singers and other celebrity types, I welcome the challenge of being a role model for children. And unlike so many of our successful entertainers, I am reachable by the average (and less than average) person. I challenge myself consistently and endeavor to do the right thing even when it might not be the thing that I want to do. One of the things that I pattern after is: "The true test of a man is to do the right thing even when no one is around." Profanity - very minimal. Respectful - I go out of my way there. One of the examples that I consistently show is - that I read. In the community, my peers read very infrequently. And when they do it is usually the sports section. My personal library is consistently growing. Currently I have over 2,500 titles and I have read them all. Science, fiction, religion, race relations, personal improvement, biographies, investing, computers, I try to read about a lot of things. And while I no longer live in the community, I do things to help improve it. I am a computer tech and every year I recycle old computers and for Christmas I make anonymous donations to families, mostly single parent households. This past year I gave away over 200 computers (laptops and desktops) doing this. Many of them put the pieces together and figured out where the machines came from. But I am clear in my actions and activities that I am not a father figure, but a positive male figure. One who you can easily emulate while you work towards your dreams. I never try to be a kids buddy or big brother either. One of the most rewarding things that I do is word challenge. Many of the young folks that I have worked with in the past have explained that they loved this challenge. Every time I saw them, I'd give them three words that they had to find the meaning of and use in context the next time we saw each other. Kept us all working on expanding our vocabularies. In the ten plus years that I have done these and other things, I have impacted hundreds of lives I am sure. And for me, there lies the reward. It took no membership in a "Blacks Only" group. I did not have to contribute funds to an organization and hope that a helpful portion got through. And I ain't lookin' for no stinking trophy or plaque for the ego boost. If you were to visit my home you would not see a case of dust gathering awards or a shelf of glad handing photos with the popular icon of the day. My pants still go on one leg at a time, even though I am my own superhero.
canyonman: "My personal library is consistently growing. Currently I have over 2,500 titles and I have read them all. Science, fiction, religion, race relations, personal improvement, biographies, investing, computers, I try to read about a lot of things. " Wow, you've read 2,500 books. You've hit the ominscient mark that the professor in Faust talks of- the Faust by Goethe. Actually you're two and a half times the mark, 1000. 2500/35=71.4 books per year. How old are you? Do you count every book, including books from high school and texts? If the black community had another 10000 people like you we wouldn't be having this debate. What about Africa? What are your thoughts regarding the horrifying conditions there? Being as educted as you're, you obvioulsy spend a lot of time condescending. Do you find that you've trouble relating with the average black man?
Thanks for asking. The dialog IS necessary for us ALL to grow and tackle this challenge. There's not enough space here for me to do anything more than to begin to outline what I feel is the very basic skeletal pieces of this problem. IMHO, the high rate of perceived inabilities to excel comes from not understanding the playing field in the first place. If you have two parents who do not understand the value of their own education, then how can you hope to create an environ that is conducive for "CONSISTENT" success of the offspring? To improve this attitude of implied failure in the African American (or any) community, you must stop concentrating on the children and start addressing the parents. They must help THEIR children, society should help THEM! And not with a government check or additional housing credits. The help that society OWES, is a fair chance once they have prepared themselves for blending in. Failure to study history and learn from the mistakes dooms one to possibly repeat the natural errors that were made. WE must study ourselves and see where WE are making the error and then WE must address our issues. It is noble of you to want to help, but until we change for the better, you are doomed to fail. There are no government plans/program that you can put in place that makes one get up in the morning with a positive attitude about their chances. You can't mandate timeliness. You can't legislate morality. To look into those mirrors we need only bring ourselves. Now with that said, my position is not looked at favorably by many in the African American community who have been raised believing that the only strength we can have comes when we are in numbers. I am a strong advocate in the concept of the power of one! I start with the belief that, I can succeed. I can achieve. I can learn. I can accomplish the task, chore challenges that lie ahead. The REAL strength is inside. Causes? They are numerous. I think one of the biggest is the pursuit of material goods. The need to show the success by having the best, for display. There's a difference in having the best because you want it versus having the best because everyone else who made it has it. I sat with a youngster once and watched a TV show called "CRIBS." They show the insides of homes of the celebs (mostly athletes and rappers). We watched three episodes back-to-back and I was just amazed. Not at the expensive homes mind you, they were nice. But at the reasons that they were bought and the furnishings therein. I can't even describe the tragedies here (no room). Well, I'll try. Sub-Zero fridges with three shelves of beer, Gatoraid, bottled water and a few bottles of hot sauce. A freezer with three or four pizzas and two pints of ice cream. Loads of custom cabinets made of the finest woods housing five or six bags of potato chips, two jars of peanut butter, a box or two of crackers (excuse me, wafers) and numerous boxes of microwave popcorn. Dining rooms with $30,000 of furnishings that have NEVER been used. And master bedrooms with closets of designer suits, 50 pairs of gym shoes, thirty or forty sports jerseys (freshly dry cleaned) and at least ten designer watches. You know, all the trappings that prove success. For me, I would challenge your definition here and ask the concept question. Is that PERSON really successful or, have they bought a lot of stuff so you can see that they are successful and proving the point?
You just showed how incredibly naive you are....He was making the point that he has a library of books about many subjects and has tried to educate himself......and you ask him about Africa???? What a fool you are.....Africa is another continent...that has many races of people...so try to be more specific......unless of course you are blatantly assuming that since he is black he must be concerned with blacks who live on another continent?? When you meet an Irish guy do you ask him how he feels about Northern Ireland? He's an American....discussing the plight of his fellow americans.
Ok, I'll answer these. Age - 47. 71.4 books a year? Interesting assumption by the professor. I'll let you have that one to ponder. Yes and no on the book count (I even took a moment out to write a few myself, personal library additions). Text books? Too far back to count and/or consider viable. The world is a changing pallet and you have to adjust to achieve. That was not a teaching principle that was promoted when I went to school. African conditions? While horrible sure enough, they don't supercede the conditions of many within fifty miles of where you or I live. A lot of folks spend time being concerned about Africa. I say fix home first. Sure I need to know roots. But how can I attach to Africa if I haven't found all that's here first. It's like studying the alphabet backwards and mastering Z, X, and Y and then jumping all the way back to G. To be totally honest, along with calling myself African, I must also identify the Indian heritage that I have. As do many African Americans. Most of us can even identify which grandparent it is/was that has/had the knowledge. Do you see pilgrimages to find which tribe? We're looking for a homeland to connect to when we have clean, clear, identifiable roots to the one we're in. Condescending? I am an outcast as the average African American goes. successful and knowledgeable about many things, but hurting the black cause is what I hear all the time. I frown on dropping out of school because it's hard. I am not down with the gangster lore and I didn't come up tossing around the 'ole AK-47 while wolfin' down a forty. If you're helping you, and you're striving for better position through self-improvement, I'm there. I've helped many leave the danger and despair. I try to show them where they can walk of their own ability. That keeps me happy!
Thank you. You have just made a new associate should you so desire. While the questions pain a bit sometimes, I took them with no malice intended.
So am I. Confidently, and happy about it most times. But always willing to share a bit of knowledge with those who care to hear.
You must be aloner if you read that many books. You don't want to be friends with TM anyway, he's a god idiot. I'm half jewish. The happenings in Isreal are very important to me. So I figured Africa for you would be important. But are you African or Indian? American is a nationality not a race. Of course, unless you're native American. I'm part Celtic so my people in Scottland and Ireland are somewhat more important to me than other people. Here's a good one, are you into the god thing?