It's perfectly normal for you to feel fear, and sometimes uncontrollable fear at the beginning stages of this business.(the same goes for greed) As the years pass and you become wiser, with your trading skills well developed, they will fade away and trading will become just another thing to do during the day.... No tension, no fear with pure confidence in your ability to read the markets correctly. The code word being "years'.
Check your pulse rate while you paper trade. Check your pulse rate while you trade real money. That should explain. The difference is the loss that you make. You can even fit it into a formula
Of course. Paper trading is an intellectual exercise. Trading for real money is also a "gut" issue for most of us. If you don't fear much and are therefore willing to take big risks, your probability of becoming a big winner goes way up... so does your probability of wiping out (which is already high to begin with.) If you fear "a lot", your odds of wiping out go way down, but your profit potential is constrained. Of course, the degree of fear cannot be paralyzing, or you'll never succeed. Over time, your brain and gut will work it out so that you can take risk at a level which is relatively comfortable. (Trouble is, most traders don't survive long enough for this to develop.) Best thing you can do is trade small until you are consistently profitable and confident. Your gut will like this and at some point will allow you to trade bigger.
If you haven't already read it (and maybe if you have), read Trading in the Zone by Mark Douglas. It's about how to deal with fear. I have the same issues. It's not about the money--it's about fear of being wrong, either by losing or missing an opportunity. I'm re-reading the book and it helps. If you haven't already read it, you will be amazed at how you will fit the description of a typical noob trader. He described me to a tee.
Disagree. If this were true, the discrepancy between paper trading and real trading wouldn't be so large. Concerns about losing money are primal... your well-being is or may be impacted. For most traders, self-preservation mechanisms need to be overcome to a degree to win.
what i do is go ahead and execute the trade, if i change my mind 20 secs later, i exit, y, u pay the commission, spread, slippage, any unfavorable price moves ...
I've done that. I called it my schizophrenic mode, neither here nor there but after a half a dozen times of doing that, I thought there must be a better way. Now I keep the method as a back up plan
I don't see anything in your post... That would disqualify you from a successful trading career. But I see some positive traits: (1) Ability to critically analyze your behavior. (2) You are not a gambler... you respect risk. The idea that Pro traders are gamblers... is a MYTH. 99% of trading firms grind out big profits $10 at a time. Your basic problem is that you do not have enough confidence in your trading strategy... Because it may well be worthless.