No, I started with a 3k model account but due to transfers, events (IG Markets closed to the US market), etc then I came to a point where I could only trade $1500. I had +$1500 net 2x during the account during about 3-4 month period. I closed account with approximately +$250 (or 25% return on the margin I was trading). You see I had 2 accounts: one at NADEX direct and one at IG Markets. I had ended on a downswing for sure. With just a few more trades, I would have closed out with +$1000 to +$2000 or 100% to 200% return.
You stopped trading because your delusions of greatness and perfection couldn't allow the downswing to put you in the red.
Lucias: I read from the beginning till now, and see that trading is not easy. You must have a good personality to keep it up!!! I´m also going to start an Futures account with 1000$. Trading with a much lower margin the ES futures is way better for learning!!! Better risk 1K in the beginning than 25K!!! I see you have gone though highs and bottoms and never lost your own line, this is very good!!! I wish you all the best for your trading and hoping to see more from your next journal!!!
The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders fourth edition, DSM IV-TR, a widely used manual for diagnosing mental disorders, defines narcissistic personality disorder (in Axis II Cluster B) as:[1] A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following: Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements) Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love Believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions) Requires excessive admiration Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others Is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
I'm surprised others missed this but can you tell me how you have $1550 after all the transfers starting with a 3K account when you state this below: Starting capital 3K 02-26-11 03:58 PM I've deposited an additional $1,000 into my account because I do not want to get into the mindset of "getting back to break even". This brings my account balance up to $3,496.80. I feel that I probably can do a 2x or 3x return. I feel I can do that several times. I do not believe that I could do that over an extended period of time. But, I feel anybody can do it then I can. Forgetting that fact that your forgot to factor the additional 1k you put in because you were down on your account. What about since you started this journal on your trading, and im sure you realized this you made less than most everyday people made this year when they just collect a paycheck every two weeks taking no risk. : You open a account for 3K near the beginning of the year : Down a bit put in an additional 1K shortly after :Close the account out left with 1500 some money may or may have not been transferred to another account. So that fact remains you made in REALIZED profits less than 10K off the 4K account as the year raps up. :::::::::my question why are your putting yourself through all of this stress to make less than minimum wage per day
For the love of god if you have been doing this for several years and i know as you previously stated this is not full time why don't wise up and get out of the "SIZE" gamblers mentality that you need to be trading now. Be smart collect your subscription fees from collective2 take and save the paycheck you get every 2 weeks, then open an account that actually has a chance of real income rather than a 3K account with risky/insane leverage you have been doing this for over 4 years as you have stated and your still relying on paper trading accounts to give you that edge or give you that injection of real capital by OPM. Trade some real size of your own money first or be like the other failures out there in trader land and go sell signals.
Thanks for the encouragement to those who offered. As for the account balances, you'll just have to read carefully what I wrote. I made it abundantly clear what I made. If you look at the money, it is not worth it to trade unless you have a decent sized account. My reasons were to build my track record and to build my business: attract institutional funds, capital, etc. Because I've built my track record over time, I've a subscriber now that is taking most of my signals with real capital, average trading 4 to 5 ES lots per signal. Of course, I'm only responsible for my record but that I'm starting to get subscribers now does vindicate that if one can maintain a high level of performance over an extended period of time then people will pay for your signals/market call/etc. And if you continue to perform well over the live signals (real money signals) then that will build on itself too. I think you need to trade 4 ES contracts to 5 ES contracts per trade to have a chance to make a living. In my mind, you'll need minimum 50k-80k to do that without taking extreme risk. I want to discuss a bit about my ego. One thing is that when you're really good at good at something and everyone says your not. I mean not just jokers on EliteTrader but people you respect and look up too. I mean the people who should know better then you get to a point where you see a truth that no one else does. It takes an incredibly strong mind to continue to see that truth without going crazy. I mean this dynamic is what drives people crazy. So, the sane mind looks out -- the mind that's going to stay sane -- looks out and sees everyone as wrong but doesn't let it bother him. He can look out and see that smart people are wrong and doesn't feel a responsibility to correct them. I never had an ego before I was denied my record. And, that's where I think it derives from because I was denied my original record. I was denied respect. I'm sure some people wouldn't let it bother them. I mean that I've got subscribers now, that is a vote of confidence with money, and that's the strongest form of confidence. But, I think I have too be careful of people that I look up to as heroes because at the end day: I'm not going to be respected. I'm not going be recognized. And, it doesn't matter... provided I'm serving my abilities and pursuing my truth. I'm not sure that we have to kill and destroy our heroes mentally but we have to find peace and comfort in what we do. Its like when I was cleared for hire by Microsoft. Some of the people there, brilliant people, wanted to huff and puff about how great it was and it was obvious to me that even these brilliant people were suffering from just a questioning of.. just wanting to huff and puff because they didn't feel important. There is also always a struggle in my mind. I'm always trying to live up to my former capability. And, that's normal. I have my market read which doesn't rely on precisely measurable signals and then I have a mixture of measurable signals that I rely on. Sometimes, I'd like to say "yes everything is due to my market read and not my systems". But, I use my systems as inputs into my market read. And, I can't always differentiate that... I mean I like my systems because when I'm not doing as well then I have that to fall back on. But also.. I'm running down -2.5% to -4% this month. Of course, I'd like when anyone joins my system to have a good run so they don't take any drawdown heat. But that's just a "desire" "a want". Realistically, I was down 10k last month before ending up about 18k. So, you know that's why I made it clear that for me to take a 10k or 15k swing is normal. I don't even remember being down 10k last month. Anyway... so it's a marathon. Not a sprint.. I don't even usually remember my losses. I make a note and try to improve but I've forgotten so many losses. If I remember the losses then I wouldn't be able to trade. Right now I'm struggling with building my size in the ES without taking bad stop hits and without risking a ton on every single trade. This is proving difficult to build my size while keeping my risk down.
BIG QUESTION!!! I hope I get an answer. Lucias, what is your system name at collective2 ??? Or how can I find your system??? Thanks