You know Gordon, the first time I read one of your "woe is me" threads, I felt sorry for you - maybe even the second time. But it's getting old, real old. Assuming that you are telling the truth (though I thought you were just hours from living under a bridge months ago) you are just a classic fuck-up. You don't listen. You don't take advice. All you do is look for sympathy. If I were you, I'd forget about getting a job - you'd only screw it up, and get fired. Why not try begging on the street? You could tell your sad story to a whole new crowd, and pick up a few bucks along the way.
You sound unhappy with trading. Get out of trading and find something else that makes you happy. Trading is not for everyone. Some people operate better at a 9 to 5 job. It gives them a sense of a security blanket and comfortable daily routine. There's nothing wrong with that. Your true calling may lie elsewhere.
how many f*cking times have myself and others told you to post all your trades and you don't. if you want some help post all your damn trades.
for fucks sakes gekko, i told ya dude: join a fucking prop firm! how much more fuckin simple can it get??? if you really wanna be a day trader that badly, sell that fuckin car of yours, buy something CHEAP that will move you around and join a fucking firm; PDT problem SOLVED. DUH ps - yeah, SSFs aren't very liquid, but dude, you have no busines trading more than 1 contract anyway, so for you that's NOT A PROBLEM. the MMs keep a tight enough market, so even though you'll have to pay the bid/ask, you won't get killed on it. (you could bid and offer, but i wouldn't count on getting filled any time soon)