Mate, you were and are doing well. "Reset" is a good word, take a break, keep calm, persevere, eat an elephant one bite at a time.
Thank you, sir. It's always a refreshing relief in your belief in your fellow human mates and that in general despite our political/religious/income status/ etc...... that we still want to see each other do well -- and express such on a public chat room. Not sure, what my threshold for actual suicide would be but it is definitely possible (been thinking about it for some time which is not good but you know what they say about those thoughts that you constantly have in ur mind --- just like today, how I was thinking I might have to reset). That is why Inception is actually one of my fav movies - it's spooky how a simple thought consumes you and you make it true/happen. Anyway, it was a real dumb thing. 330PM EST...I had a bad trading day (probably a record for trades for me) and I grabbed a beer and said "no more" then I sit down and enter a random multi-lot ES trade and well you know how that went. lol. Anyway, I guess I believe in myself and my strategy toooooo much. Whatever. Who knows. In life, you live to try but musn't try too hard to live.
Thank you, sir. Appreciate your thoughtful comments. It's crazy....I think my last 2 attempts were also really good until Day 10-ish and then BANG! LoL It's all good....I think these resets are much much much better than losing $3K+ in real money -- gr8 excuse to drink, listen to techno music and "next level-up" your strategy I live with hope that in the rare event that I became homeless...it would be at the very exact moment that the Universe said "okay....okay...let's cut him a break......he has really tried at this thing so so diligently and has suffered so so much...let's grant him his "Successful Trader License'..." LMAO
Concentrate on beauty around you, appreciate simple things. Don't get hung up about how fast you can make money. Treat trading as entertainment, a game, pace yourself, think smarter don't work harder.
I've been following along on your attempts, appreciate your transparency, and in some ways feel like a kindred spirit. Plenty of resets for me, tilts, day 10's made only to blow up, etc. It's frustrating, seems unfair at times, can be mad at myself for violating all the things I said I wouldn't, and seems like the idea of being a trader might be a pipe dream. Then I step away, refocus, think about why I'm doing what I'm doing, try to learn from each bust. The journey has taken longer than expected, but i look back at the progress I've made. Not in passing obviously, but mistakes I would make say in my first few attempts I've resolved and don't make those. Then I had a new set of challenges, fixed those, and now onto the next set of challenges. I'm confident that there'll be a day that I grow enough that it warrants having a funded account. I feel like maybe you're at a similar place, you really are on the cusp of getting over the last hurdles. Just think about what 1 or 2 things can be tweaked and give it another go. I'll be following along!
LoL. I'm good, man (kinda). I'm just an emotional person by nature and that is why I need to keep tweaking trading strategy towards my personality because at my age, I am not going to change (biology/science proves that habits are hard to break after a few decades) Please feel free to donate to my "gofundme" a "homeless trader on the verge of stardom" fund tho......(if it comes down to it)