Must be an ET'er

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by runningman, Feb 16, 2007.

  1. :D

    From your link;

    Guy: You know, they're giving away money on the T train for being nice.
    Bimbette: What?
    Guy: The T train -- they're giving away money to people who are nice.
    Bimbette: Who are?
    Guy: The T train.
    Bimbette: How can a train give away money?
    Guy: Not the train. The people -- the train people.
    Bimbette: Why would they give away money?
    Guy: To encourage people to be nice. They give it to people who do nice things.
    Bimbette: Nice things?
    Guy: Yeah, like holding open the door, letting someone have your seat -- nice things.
    Bimbette: How can they just give away money?
    Guy: It's not actual money. They're gift certificates to Dunkin' Donuts.
    Bimbette: What's a donut?
    Guy: Are you fucking kidding me?

  2. If you like that one, this is another great time waster.

    Its amazing the stupidity out there. I really don't know how some people get through the day without harming themselves or others.
  3. Girl #1: What did you get?
    Girl #2: Just some blank CDs at Virgin.
    Girl #1: Oh, really? Any good ones?
  4. pretty hilarious stuff:

    Monday, February 12, 2007
    ME: Blank Top, your phone number please?
    LADY: I actually have a question.
    ME: Sure, fire away.
    LADY: I need to arrange to have my dog picked up and taken to the animal hospital. Could you do that?
    ME: Sure, I'll find you somebody who will take a dog, that's no problem.
    LADY: Oh, good. I know a lot of your drivers are Muslims and I've read that they won't take dogs.
    ME: Yeah, I've read that too, but that particular little tidbit of idiocy has yet to find it's way here, I can find you somebody that will take a dog without any problems.
    LADY: That's great. Now how would I pay?
    ME: You would just pay the driver at the end of the trip.
    LADY: Oh, but you see I wouldn't be going with the dog to the hospital, they are going to take custody of him when he gets there.
    ME: The dog would be in a cage or carrier then, right?
    LADY: Oh no, his cage would be too big to fit in a car.
    ME: . . . Uh, what kind of a dog are we talking about here?
    LADY: He's a Rottweiler.
    ME: Are you serious? You want someone to pick up your gigantic attack dog without you there to keep the thing under control?
    LADY: No, he's very docile right now because he's sick.
    ME: Oh goody, so it's going to be throwing up all over the place too? This is just getting better and better.
    LADY: No, don't worry, he's not throwing up, it's just. . .
    ME: Oh I can't wait to hear this.
    LADY: It's just that he's having some diarrhea problems right now.
    ME: I think I'm starting to see why you don't want to ride along with it.
    LADY: No, don't worry, I can put a diaper on him.
    ME: I didn't know that they make diapers for Rottweilers.
    LADY: I was just going to rig a baby's diaper on him.
    ME: . . .Ma'am, can I ask you a question?
    LADY: Okay.
    ME: Are you completely insane?
    LADY: . . . No, I'm not insane.
    ME: Are you sure? You're asking a stranger to pick up your sick attack dog wearing a diaper.
    LADY: I'm telling you he's not going to be a problem, he's sick and there's no way he'd attack your driver.
    ME: He might not be angry now, but I'm pretty sure that's going to change when you try to slap a diaper on him.
    LADY: So there's no way you can do this?
    ME: No. In fact, it's probably things like this that have convinced so many Muslim drivers to stop picking up dogs and claim it's for religious reasons.
    LADY: Okay, well, thanks anyway.
  5. maxpi


    those phone calls to the cab company reminded me of a wrong number call I got once. I plainly told the guy that he had the wrong number a couple times. Eventually he says "so when do you want to do this?" I had no idea what he was talking about but I said "tomorrow morning" and he says "what time?" so I said "5", he says "5?" (nothing wrong with his hearing when he is on his agenda) I say yeah, "in the morning" and I made him agree to be there at 5am or forget it, and he agreed. I never heard back from him of course. I still laugh when I think about it, I hate people that don't listen.

    There is a guy that sits in the local restaurants all day talking to people about time travel and UFO's. He is actually a scary guy, I got a ride from him to my house recently, my dogs came in to see who was there, they both took one look at him and ran off in different directions. One did not come out of hiding until he left. They are seeing things that I don't. Anyhow, at some point I realized that when he was on one of his boring monologues that he could not be interrupted, I mean he would be looking straight at me but he was not seeing me so I can sit there and insult his mother, give him the finger, etc. and he just goes right on, never notices what I am doing or the people at the next table trying not to laugh.