LMAO... Hey, I'll be the first to admit it - it doesn't matter how much money I have, that's not what creates my inner self confidence/self worth nor does it create any happiness. I create that in other ways, not via my possessions. For me, self confidence, discipline, drive, honesty and good decisions create money. Anything contrary to those ideas destroys it. Nowhere does happiness come into the picture. It is my belief that happiness and money have absolutely nothing to do with each other. I've been unhappy most of my life, so f--king what? I have way more than I need, I don't have to work much, but I still work 10 hours a day anyway because it keeps my mind from dwelling on personal shit in my life that's never going to go away - I was raised by a really fucked up parent who destroyed any sense of happiness for me at an early age. The psychological scars are not going away and I'm okay with that. Thatâs the hand I was dealt. Thatâs the hand I play, everyone gets what they get. I struggle everyday to be "happy" (never tired drugs, donât have any urge to). Who the fuck cares though? I'm not crying about it, I don't need sympathy. Everybody goes through bad shit in their life. Itâs possible that a lucky few go through life unaffected by the shit - I haven't met many though. What's the point of my post? I don't know. Cathartic writing can sometimes make me âhappyâ. I'm "rich", I worked my ass off for it, I have expensive cars, a very attractive woman at my side, good friends. People think I'm happy but I'm not. 10 years ago I wanted to make all the f--king money in the world - now that I've made a fair amount it didn't do shit for me, it still doesnât do anything for me. It just allowed me to buy things and allowed me financial freedom (both are overrated BTW). Financial freedom means nothing when your mind holds you prisoner. Beer makes me happy, Sex makes me happy, food makes me happy, exercise makes me happy, work makes me happy (in that order BTW). That's it. Call me emotionally dead, whatever, emotional/financial "happiness" is overrated IMO. So there you go. Think what you want all you out there in the internet world - I'm a guy with everything I've ever wanted but no, I'm not happy. Who the fuck cares?
I feel better giving money away sometimes than making it ( no ... I do not wish any PM's on giving starving traders money )
I hear you. I tip really well. That feels good, it makes others happy. Its neat to see the look of a cab driver when you tell him he can keep the change from a 20 for a 10 dollar ride. Even better is a hot cocktail waitress who comes back with a smile and prompt service after a generous tip. I give to charities as well, it just doesn't feel the same though - I cannot see the results as clearly.
Mike, you don't have to live with the pain. That may have been the hand you were dealt, but you can still find true happiness. I recommend a dual path: reading books such as Albert Ellis's A Guide to Rational Living and counseling. There are constructive ways to confront your shame, guilt, anger, blame, etc. -- even when this parent cannot acknowledge what he or she has done to you. Abuse is about power and trust, and believe it or not, there is a positive outcome to the worst situations. Many children driven by fear and guilt attain great material wealth but are stuck emotionally. Now that you've achieved such success, why don't you now focus most of your energy on your mental well-being? It's hard work, and you must embrace the pain, but don't you deserve it?
I agree with what poundtherock said in the post above, and I am sure the book he recommends is excellent. While I would not attempt to compare my situation to yours (Mike805), I was raised in an abusive home. Physical abuse was not performed on me but on my Mother - I was exposed to that and had to deal with a great deal of psychological abuse from my parents and many adult-figures in my life. I carried around that burden for years, and blamed everything that happened in my life on my past. But, I have improved dramatically through the help of someone I met, and through self-study of a few resources. One that I recommend that is very short and easy to get through is "The T.A.D. Principle" (thetadprinciple.com). I think it would be a great benefit to you, and help you down the right path. In a nutshell it is all about your mind and your thoughts - they can control you or you can control them. Best of luck.
Thanks mxjones and poundtherock. I appreciate your constructive comments. This is the first time I've expressed those ideas to anyone - theres something to be said for this type of interaction. There are people on this forum who know me, but theres also a sense of anonymity. I've always felt like I'd be throwing my shit on someone else discussing these things, hence I just don't talk about it with others I'm close to. I used to have a lot of fear but that has subsided as I've matured. Anxiety, guilt and shame are my most problematic emotions. I'll find things to feel guilty and shameful about, they usually mean nothing to "normal people" but my mind turns them into something (a interaction that I didn't give 100% to, a goal I didn't reach, a mistake I've made). I tend to be so self-critical it keeps me from sleeping at night. Its only been recently that I've come to accept the fact that I need to focus my energies on healing this part of my mind. I tend to find ways to ignore these types of situations, I internalize my emotions and do not express myself very well. I've thought about counseling and unfortunately my ego keeps getting in the way. I've been so independent in my life, it is difficult for me to acknowledge the fact that another person can help me. Again, thanks for your comments. They are very helpful - I've ordered the Ellis text. Have a great holiday all. Regards, Mike
if i had as many employees as mr. buffett had i would give them some of the money because they would still work very productively and make him richer....give mr. gates the rest for his foundations....after all Mr. buffetts employees work hard for him and help him make his billions!
i know from experience that having money does make you happy if you spend it wisely and save it. people whom say money doesn't make them happy never have had any. It is very hard living off minimum wage and living from paycheck to paycheck is very hard, i know i do it every week. If i were rich i would help others that have helped me in my past and present and then i would die one day knowing that i helped them.