mo money-$87 BILLION SPENT IN FIRST TWO DAYS.

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by trader556, Oct 20, 2003.

  1. Additional $87 Billion Sought

    Two days after Congress granted the White House $87 billion for continuing operations in Iraq, the White House revealed that the money had been completely spent over the weekend.

    "We are, quite frankly, disappointed that the $87 billion did not last a little longer," said White House spokesman Scott McClellan. "Having said that, we are confident that the next $87 billion will be money well spent."

    Mr. McClellan added that the White House would seek an additional $87 billion to fund continuing operations in Iraq through next Wednesday. The White House, anticipating criticism from congressional Democrats, conceded today that Iraq was turning out to be more expensive than first estimated, but blamed the exorbitant price tag on the high cost of food service at Baghdad International Airport.

    "Currently, a cheese sandwich and a Pepsi at Baghdad International cost $28," Mr. McClellan said, adding that the airport's food service providers, The Halliburton Company, were working hard to bring those costsdown.

    Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) today blasted the two-day expenditure of $87 billion, telling reporters in New Hampshire,

    "Given the way this has turned out, I am fairly certain that I would
    change my vote on the appropriations bill, if I could remember which way I voted on it."

    On NBC's "Meet the Press," National Security Advisor Condoleezza Rice urged approval of the additional $87 billion in funding, arguing, "Not providing another $87 billion would make a mockery of the $87 billion we just spent."

    On other matters, Dr. Rice added that the U.S. had no intention of
    invading North Korea, but said that verbally threatening North Korea remained a viable and less-expensive option.




    Hallibarton RULES THE FREAKING WAR yeah!
     
  2. Please tell me that was an excerpt from The Onion...
     
  3. Pretty funny. Did you make that up or find it?
     
  4. Nope. From the borowitzreport.com newsletter:

    KERRY, GEPHARDT KEY DEAN’S CAR

    Tag-Team Dems Go Nasty in Iowa Fight


    The race for the Democratic presidential nomination took a nasty turn tonight as Sen. John Kerry (D-MA) and Rep. Richard Gephardt (D-MO) were caught keying the car of former Vermont Governor Howard Dean in the parking lot of the town hall in Davenport, Iowa.

    The brazen act of vandalism occurred during a candidates' forum in Davenport, as Kerry and Gephardt took advantage of a long-winded comment by Sen. John Edwards (D-NC) about his humble beginnings to slip out of the town hall building and into the parking lot.

    The two mischievous Democratic hopefuls then used their keys to make disfiguring white scratches the length of Gov. Dean's taupe-colored Toyota Camry.

    In an official statement, Gov. Dean blasted his two rivals, saying, "Real mature."

    Political insiders say that the prank, coming on the heels of another incident over the weekend in which Kerry and Gephardt hurled rolls of toilet paper into the trees on Gov. Dean's front yard, may be signs that the two candidates are growing desperate because their campaigns have yet to catch fire.

    But Dr. Timothy Vincent, who teaches a graduate course in babyish political pranks at the University of Minnesota, says that such tactics can be surprisingly effective.

    "In 1988, Al Gore dropped out of the race after Michael Dukakis sprayed shaving cream on his door knob," Dr. Vincent says. "The rest is history."

    Elsewhere, one day after Secretary of State Colin Powell taunted North Korean dictator Kim Jung-Il by saying, "You can't eat plutonium," Mr. Kim responded by saying that he could, in fact, eat plutonium and challenged Mr. Powell to a plutonium-eating contest next month in Pyongyang.



    The Borowitz Report