Mental Case

Discussion in 'Journals' started by truber, Jun 19, 2017.

  1. truber


    Not sure exactly why I am doing this, but the hope is to get the accountability I need. I keep a trading journal, however, its hard right now being accountable to myself. So perhaps some fellow traders may benefit from my journal and others may find it in themselves to kick my butt when I need it. I can take it. Bring both barrels...its the only way I learn. And I fully realize this is not a self help group.

    Know thyself:
    I have been actively trading for two years, so lots to learn and willing to learn with no short cuts. Old school mindset I guess. I have always been interested in it and love the challenge and the math and coding Easy Language. I currently work at a very large and leading technology company. Not IBM or HP, the other "O"ne. My role is to train sales guys on how to position our storage products and win against the competition. I'm an old New England (Boston) salty dog sales guy myself and a technologist. I'm a sales guy through and through. I tell my students, I will eat your kids to fed mine. No where is that more true than in trading.

    My goal in trading is to make it my new career. I what to retire by 2020 and live off my trading. I'll be 54. I have five accounts with TradeStation. One futures account, one individual account, two Roth IRA's and one IRA. My largest account is my limited margin IRA. (no settlement period, but no stock shorts, except for option puts.) I took it back from a managed account to grow it faster than they can. I started it with $100,000. I've had it as high as 130,000. It currently is at 116,000. I also trade the futures account. Mostly ES. Enough capital to trade 2 contracts.

    I am an outy. Meaning I am more comfortable not being in the market and in all cash. So I favor day to short swing trading,
    I am a contrarian. I favor depressed stock of good companies, down for one reason or another, and buy at their weakest and follow a Fibonacci retracement. (Utterly amzing how that works). Recent examples include, DIS, CAT, RAD, and now watching KR.

    I have written my own trading rules in TradeStation Radarscreen. If anyone ever needs something in Easy Language, let me know. I am happy to code it for you. It has the number of shares to buy based on ATR and other risk management factors. It has my stops and my targets, risk to reward ratios and Fibannacci profits. I can share it you like.

    Here is my single biggest problem It is destroying my confidence and account. I bailout to protect a small profit and miss the run. I dont follow my own rules. It starting happening after a big loss in DIS and I haven't recovered mentally. I have tried trading small again, that doesnt work, Ive tried Jeti mind tricks like, if you take a profit, you lose.

    For example, and please dont hold back if you feel compelled to call me an idiot, because, well I am. Bought 5000 RAD @ 2.99 on Friday. "2.99!" Up in premarket today (Monday 6/19/17) than down a little. Instead of just letting it stop me out for a small loss (2.87) I sold at 3.03 for a $200 profit. WooHoo! Right?

    I've had a few losses recently and didnt want another. I rationalized it could go down like other Mondays. But the daily chart said up and of course, RAD took off in the session. I was in meetings all day, checking it from time to time, but unwilling to jump back in at 3.11 (.01 above PM high and would of been a perfect entry), or 3.26, or 3.33. I dont have the mental strength yet to chase.

    So thats who I am, that was my day, and my mental decay. Fire away!
    /truber (Mental Case)
    Baron likes this.
  2. Sprout


    Given that statement, how trustworthy would you think any advice you receive would be?
    truber likes this.
  3. Trading is simple, you either do it or you don't. You already know your shortcomings with your trades, it's not like there is an unknown element and you are trying to figure it out. You either execute or you donate and kick yourself. The ego finds it easier to break rules and be proven wrong, than to put your neck on the line and let your system play out. The question is, can you get your head out of the hole and do it the way it's supposed to be done?
    johnnyrock, Gotcha and truber like this.
  4. zdreg


    "never chase a woman or a stock. there will always be another one."
    Here4money likes this.
  5. Pekelo


    "Just because a stock is up 300% that doesn't mean it can not go another 200%."

    There are plenty of stocks that should have been chased, TSLA, AMZN, NFLX...
    Here4money likes this.
  6. zdreg


    i was referring to the poster's trading example:"I was in meetings all day, checking it from time to time, but unwilling to jump back in at 3.11 (.01 above PM high and would of been a perfect entry), or 3.26, or 3.33. I dont have the mental strength yet to chase."
  7. lindq


    I'm replying because your challenges are not unlike those I faced when new to trading years ago. Thus, some observations:

    1. I get the impression that you are running watchlists on equities looking to buy weakness on a short term time frame. Not a good idea, although a strong bull market can save you. One thing to consider is that if you are basing your strategy on backtesting of daily data, and daily lows are notoriously unreliable in data feeds. Trust me, you can't build a trading career on trying to pick up a few beaten stocks here and there. With a big team and many resources, maybe. But not on your own.

    2. Your problem with cutting winners short is because you do not have confidence in a system. My advice - and I am sure you've heard it before - is to focus on one or two instruments and nail those with a system in which you can have confidence. Don't move on until you've mastered this. All good, mature traders have at least one solid bread-and-butter system in which they have the confidence to let the trade ride. You must make that your highest priority before moving on.

    Good luck.
    Jones75, truber and piezoe like this.
  8. Sprout


    Your identity shapes what you can perceive, you're sticking points, the WORK you do in purposeful learning and ultimately the results you receive.

    How do you go about selecting your Universe of stocks to trade?
    How do you determine when you should enter and when you exit?

    Post a chart and log of how you see the market.

    If you're not annotating your charts nor logging, there's no way for you to get better outside the paradigm you exist within.

    The fact that you are trading low quality stocks under $10 with low liquidity is a gamblers game.
  9. SteveM


    OP, since you enjoy coding, perhaps you can create an automated forex system with a profit target that is 2x or 3x your initial risk, that only trades on the Asian or European sessions using OCO orders? This way, you will be asleep while your system is trading, and therefore your "discretionary" interference will no longer be a problem. Trade this system with very small position size for months on end to ingrain in your mind the importance of sticking to a system, once you see that it is making you money.
    truber likes this.
  10. truber


    No trades today. On the road in meetings. I cant wait to trade full time!
    #10     Jun 20, 2017