Mens health issue - anyone

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by riddler, Apr 19, 2013.

  1. riddler


    Being serious here guys. Any of you have urination issues? My stream sometmes comes out split, in 2 streams. Also, my urine sometimes sprays out.
    I do wake up sometime once per night to urinate.
    Anyone have similar issues?
  2. Hooti


    your end is to loose...


    You need to see a shrink!

    [actually a urologist might give you some options]
  3. Riddler
    You never mentioned your age. After age 40 your prostate begins another growth phase. This growth starts to constrict the urethra which can cause urination issues such as waking up at night to urinate, a weaker urine stream, and the feeling that you didnt fully empty your bladder. This may or may not be the cause. It happens to all men, usually starts in the early to mid 40's. its called prostate enlargement or BPH.
  4. Well, seeing a urologist will probably go down one path... a Cystoscopy. It is a long rod with a camera mounted into the very end. A urologist can see within the urinary tract, bladder and such to check for blockages, constrictions, anything causing urination problems. I can tell you having a Cystoscopy is not fun in any way.
    I have had two of them in about eight years time.
    Let me relive the experience for you to understand.
    1) FIRST and most important when getting one of these penis pulverizing exams is to check your humility at the door because when you get done you'll wish you never had a penis.
    2) THE FUN starts when a pretty nurse ( and always a pretty nurse) tells you to remove everything below waist and put on a ass raping robe.
    3) That's just the beginning of the fun, then the real excitement happens when you are seated in a vagina exam chair and you have you place your legs in the stirrups up in the air, and your balls smack down against the cold metal and wave hello to the pretty nurse.
    4) She now knows more about you than your better half, but its ok because this is when the pretty little nurse grabs your frozen scared little Dick in her hand and looks you in the eye. Wow, is she going to Make me feel all better now ? NOOOO, she takes a huge plastic syringe filled with what she calls ' numbing gel' and while grasping your manhood she takes the other hand and shoves the syringe into the opening of the penis. HEY NURSE... THAT'S AN EXIT ONLY! and proceeds to inject gel into your rod to the feeling of a bullet being fired into your urethra.
    5) Now good ol' Doc walks in and explains how he is going to shove objects soooo deep into places you Never thought possible.
    6Doc stands in front of screen to see a live video of inside your body while pretty nursey gets ready to perform violations on your wand with a camera equipped Pole from hell.
    A long, long, rod, rigid or flexable , no difference to your frightened friend all feels the same.
    7) Pretty nursey grabs your pistol once again and shoves a locomotive train right up your good buddy while keeping a pretty little smile. Its ok because by now Doc is on auto now taking full control of the camera and blasting his way through everything in sight like he is playing with a Remote controls race car.
    8) This is where the HUMILIATION BEGINS ... just as you thought it can't get f'n worse can it ??? A pretty little nursey shoves a balloon up your freaking ASS and begins INFLATING THE ASS POUNDING BALLOON to sizes that would make a Pumpkin appear to be a kinder alternative to shove up your ass.
    9)ok, so here we are... in a VAG chair legs in the air spread ass rape wide open, a ROD shoved all the way up into the depths of your organs via your poor little friend, and a ballon shoved up your ass inflated to equivalent of a truck in your rectum, and pretty nursery still smiling. Hey, I'm feeling kind of good at this point how about your number and dinner tonight pretty nursey while we have a few laughs over drinks comparing all the nutsacks you had the pleasure of blowing out today with a rectum balloon.
    10)NOW.... Doc, says... ok were done we can remove everything. Whew, Get me out of this... AAHHHHHhhhhhhhh OMG are you taking my bladder out with that f'n ROD ahhhhhhhh the burning pain! Whew, that's out. Hey! thanks for deflating that pumpkin before you ripped it out of my ass too !
    11) test over go home wait for results.
    12)ahhhhhh feels so good to be home and restore some dignity to my manhood.
    oh, boy I have to urinate bad I'm just going let this flow, AHHHHHHHHHHHH OMG MY PENIS IS ON SEARING FIRE...omg, omg, I'LL never urinate again, ahhhhhhhhhh.the fire!!
    13)Pretty nursery and Doc forgot to mention for the next four days you might experience a.SLIGHT FLAMETHROWING burning sensation when urinating.

    14) I'm so glad to have shared this fun experience and wish you the good health.
  5. r-in


    When a student in college I worked for the parking service. A guy I worked with one semester was about 50 and full time with about 5 degrees, as a benefit was 9 free credits a school year. But anyway he had similar problems and described about the exact same procedure too, and said he had to go in, I think every year for it. I am determined to be dead before that one.
  6. trendo


    I had two cycstoscopies in my twenties as a result of a football injury that caused scar tissue on the neck of my bladder. My first experience with this medievil torture was pretty much like yours, although I never got the ass rape balloon. My second time was done under a general anesthetic, which is the way to go, IMHO. At least see if you can get twilight sleep. Good luck and good health.
  7. Pekelo


    As someone mentioned, knowing your age would help. If you are 35-40+, it is pretty much natural. Most old men don't die because of prostate cancer/enlargement, they die WITH it...

    Anyhow, you can go the natural healing way first and you can get the serious stuff later if it didn't work out. Go to Amazon and search "prostate health" and you will get 20 different things. Then you read the reviews and decide which one works for similar symptoms: health&sprefix=prostate+,aps,183

    Here are two of the best rated:

    Generally saw palmetto, pumpkin seed, pygeum, zinc and selenium work for male urinary problems and they are all natural...


    This is why I love Amazon reviews, because you get new ideas what might solve your problem:


    "I have that typical older male "slow down" and although this helped it has become part of a three part cocktail for me. This product alone decreased my nighttime bathroom trips from 2-3 to 1-2. Better but not good. Combining it with Kava Kava that functions as a herbal muscle relaxer (one pill taken every other day...three times daily as recommended on the bottle is too much for me and did not work any better for this problem) decreased my nightly trips from 1-2 to 1 trip. But adding a 325 gr. cranberry extract pill taken three times a day with meals actually solved the able to empty well enough to sleep through the night like a big boy and not even experience any particular urgency when I wake in the morning."
  8. 1) Are you a hermaphrodite? :confused: :eek: :( :mad:
    2) No. :cool:
  9. TIMITRADER your post made me laugh while scaring the shit out of me. Years ago I took some ephedra that caused some prostrate swelling and it never went totally back to normal. It takes my dad 20 minutes to relieve himself so I'm expecting more serious problems in the future. I have found that eating more veggies, cutting back on red meat and drinking more water seems to help.
  10. I appreciate you sharing your experience with a urethra camera but i dont think ts necessary to scare the guy; no need for that.
    Riddler, the doctor( urologist) will only perform one of those " camera tests" if he suspects a blockage due to a stricture or other abnormality. The urologist will probably perform a urine flow test as well as a bladder ultra sound ensuring that your bladder is fully emptied after urination.
    As I mentioned, increased urination is a natural part of aging, it sucks but its normal. Some guys get it worse than others. There are a variety of meds that can help.
    #10     Apr 21, 2013