Dear Mr Jinxu, Your posts have a negative undertone, and you are obviously unsure of yourself and your partner. Have you asked yourself <i>why</i> should you get married to this person now? Marriage should happen with the right person at the right time. Perhaps it's not the right person or not the right time.
My experience with women and trading is they don't mix. Security is No. 1 to a woman once she gets her hooks into you and begins the process of usurping. Be prepared for turmoil.
less so today, but in the past, a farmers wife was a difficult lonely job and her support was vital to the farm. I actually know a guy who never got a job and after college started trading full time and got married and has kids and he has been happily married now going on 30 years. But he only trades stocks and options, and has always been extremely normal. He looks normal, he lives in a normal house and drives a normal car and all his friends are friends of his wife's and he does what she wants and goes on vacation where they go. He has always had an office in his house.
Prenupt I advocate..... and yes your right all the dumb things I've done in my life you could have never stopped me from doing
The crux of the matter is, what is most important to you, a wife or trading? The two rarely mix. I've spent over 20 years trading and designing systems, it would have been impossible for me to get where I am if I were married or had kids to look after. (my children are now adults) The only way you could possibly get ahead in trading whilst married with kids is if she fully supported you, ie she was pro trading, was a trader herself, or had a deep interest in the subject and or understood what a trading life entails and encouraged you completely to the point she would work to support you financially were the going to get tough. To be a trader means you need to be a bit selfish with your time whilst starting off, and this takes years. Once you are consistently profitable, then you can possibly pay back, with more time on your hands and money to spend on her or others. In my opinion, trading suits single people, for marrieds there is too much stress and energy involved as well as emotions for those trading at their keyboards. Trading fills my day and it fills my night, by day at the computer, by night in my thinking and planning. With having a girlfriend, you can get away and have space, nigh on impossible in marriage, unless as mentioned, she was very much pro trading which would be a rare event.
welcome to the ET bar. Ever notice when you go to a bar it is very rarely patronized by happily married couples. Ususally the bar is 90% men with women problems or broken hearts, and at the tables are women looking for a replacement.
I started trading full time when my 3 kids were in grade school and didn't blow up until 2 of them were in college, no problem. I drove them to soccer practice, choir practice, ballet, never missed a softball game, saw plenty of school plays. I started as a broker and my wife never really knew I was an independent trader because I still put a suit and tie on each day and traded out of my old office.
If you want to make that choice, then make that choice. But it is an abdication of responsibility by every measure that makes us human, plain and simple. It is also extremely short sighted, as familial groups (tribes, if you like) are far stronger than individuals.