Men, Women, Divorce, and Trading in 2012

Discussion in 'Economics' started by jinxu, Aug 18, 2012.

Should I get Married?

  1. Yes

    11 vote(s)
    16.4%
  2. No

    56 vote(s)
    83.6%
  1. volente_00

    volente_00

    What a bunch of cry babies. If you are getting left you either are lacking in the money or dick department. The same people talking about 50% failures don't even think twice about attempting to trade for a living that has a 95% failure rate. The bottom line is marriage is just like trading, if you are not willing to put in the workl then be prepared to fail. P.S. get married in a state that does not award alimony.
     
    #131     Aug 20, 2012
  2. jinxu

    jinxu

    So, what's the hard work (in details)? Please enlightening me with your infinite wisdom on marriage.
     
    #132     Aug 20, 2012
  3. which state is that!
     
    #133     Aug 20, 2012
  4. zdreg

    zdreg

    logic is not your forte

    husband complain that his soup is too hot.
    wife says you want your soup cold?
    that is the way u think. not good.
     
    #134     Aug 20, 2012
  5. You need to learn to cut your losers short and let your winners run too.
     
    #135     Aug 20, 2012
  6. jinxu

    jinxu

    One thing I have noticed is that in our society Human beings (mostly men) are seen as utilitarian. Men are raised to identify themeselves with their work or utility. I’ve lost count of the number of times I have been out somewhere in church or at a family gathering only to hear women bash men talking about how stupid and lazy we are how we need to get our shit together and get married or get jobs (or better paying jobs) Just so we can support them. Men are often shamed by women into folowing a life path that is most benefical to women ( this involves slaving away at a stressful, white collar job you hate for 50-60 hours a week so you can go home and give it all the earnings to a wife and child) It’s true that women work full time jobs and support families and sometimes even support their husbands. but in still the majority of cases, it’s the man who is the sole breadwinner it’s the man who earns considerably more. Majortiy of women will not give a man who earns less then they do the time of day. If a man has not gotton his “shit together” or has choosen a different life path besides just being a provider and protector for a woman, he is regarded with disdain mistrust, and redicule “what do you mean you are not married? what’s wrong with you? are you gay?” The actual critism does not come from just not being married, it comes from the fact that you’re not or have choose not to dedicate your enitie life to supporting and taking care of a woman and child. Men are raised to be self sacrificing. Our own pleasures, hopes, and dreams do not matter whenever a woman is involved. We are utilitarian, we are the disposable sex, 80% of suicides are men, 90% of all workplace deaths are men. Our lifespans are shorter then women’s but there are next to no health resource for men and tons for women. Men as victims are not taken seriously, when men suffer it is not taken seriously.

    Men are finally waking up to this crap and that’s what scares women more then anything. We are coming to the realization that we do not have to be stuck in the role of protector or provider if we don’t want to especially if it’s for a woman that gives us nothing in return. Our lives do matter, our hopes and dreams do matter.

    So when a woman tries to shame us into following a rigid life path that only benefits her Our response is simple

    “No”

    Are they women out there in which this article does not apply to? Of course, are there enough to go around? Nope.
     
    #136     Aug 20, 2012
  7. no, there are no women on ET, and the few that are want to be men
     
    #137     Aug 20, 2012
  8. jinxu

    jinxu

    I am a young single woman, I plan on being very successful eventually and I would definitely sign a pre-nup. I think a pre-nup protects both parties in the event of a divorce and I would want to show respect for the hard-work my spouse did before I was even a thought in his mind and vice-versa.

    Many of my friends believe that a pre-nup is a “back-up” plan…and if you really love someone and plan to spend the rest of your life w/ them why would you need one??? I say BULLSH*T You’re stupid if you don’t get one!

    I also see many of the things in this article playing out in my life… my g/fs routinely rent out expensive locales for their weddings, museums, cathedrals, riverwalks, and compare ring sizes, in competition to see whose is bigger, therefore better. Some, marrying desperate older men, trapped in an ensuing mid-life crisis.

    Money is shelled out on shoes, bags, and various lunch dates w/ other stay-at-home-do-nothingers and many of my girlfriends have dropped out of college to get married and stay home…which I count as a waste of time!

    One of my girlfriend’s ex-fiance once requested that she finish the 1 1/2 years to a four-year art education degree (I agreed…why come that far not to finish??) before the wedding. He said he wanted a woman who could hold her own and set her own goals and reach them independent of him and wanted an equal share of the load carried in their upcoming marriage…

    Neither her nor her mother could understand why he just didn’t want to take care of her…and why he was “forcing” her to finish school if he really loved her. After all he’s a very successful financial advisor, driving a new Volvo. Was he stingy? A cheapskate? The straw that broke the camel’s back was when he told her that he only wanted to exchange bands and use the rest of “ring” money on a down payment for a house…She was insulted and broke up with him.

    Her family went on to demonize him around the church, social gatherings, and in many of the social circles we frequented. He was devastated and hid-out from the people he once called his friends and his lover. I was really sad for him.

    What’s worse, her family still wanted him to pay for most of the expenses they had already shelled out for this elaborate “dream day” and demanded compensation for ruining it.

    Today, she is married to a wealthy manager of a luxury hotel out in LA, and our conversations are usually peppered w/ whatever name-brand purse he bought her last week, Coach, Versace, blah blah, tiffany jewelery…

    Not to mention their lavish wedding in one of the biggest cathedrals (w/12 bridesmaids) in town… w/ her 3ct platinum diamond engagement ring. And how she stays home, bored, and sleeping all day after getting her household cleaning done, waiting for her husband to come home, shopping sprees w/ her sis-in-law, or how she doesn’t know if it’s too soon to want a baby to give her something to do or whatever..

    Her ex on the other hand is now married to a really simple, tom-boyish occupational therapist who wears a simple gold band on her left ring finger.

    I AGREE W/ YOU.
    These wedding shows nowadays don’t help and drive me bonkers! With these stupid women exclaiming that this is “their” day and their equally stupid husbands-to-be just sit back and go along with it… as if his only job on the day of the wedding is to “show up in a tux and walk”.
    And that damn “Royal Wedding” didn’t help at all, now every girl is going to grow up thinking these are realisitic espectations for a matrimonial ceremony.

    It’s all about the cake, the shower, the honeymoon, the location, the ring, the flowers, the “lower-budget” $5,000 dress, but I never once hear these fools talk about the partnership, their future commitments…

    This is why I’ve thought about writing off marriage all together…b/c I know too many women like this… they enter it entitled and priveleged, usually for the wrong reasons. This simply goes to show what this “bridezilla” society has made out of our women… My parents on the other hand were both career-oriented and taught me and my siblings to do the same… regardless of how many people looked down on my mother for not staying home 24/7 w/ us…we were living in the deep south, surrounded by non-working, pampered women claiming to be Southern Belles… what is this??? 1867? Are you kidding.

    My parents kept working and today they are both extremely successful in their own rights and businesses…and I find that my father has more respect for my mother b/c of it, even if they aren’t married.
     
    #138     Aug 20, 2012
  9. yeah well, next time I marry Oprah I aint signing no pre-nup
     
    #139     Aug 20, 2012
  10. themickey

    themickey

    There are a lot of people whom we are in close contact with who can make our lives miserable.
    Family at times (brothers,sisters, parents etc) Employers, managers, co-workers, and as you mention wives.
    The trick seems to be to recognise these situations and work a strategy to minimize the negative impact they influence.
    Not easy if you can't walk away from them readily, but I suppose if you have positive things going on in your life, you can focus on that and attempt to ignore the negatives. I find I ultimately move away from these people, unfortunately often there is another rotten apple in the barrel who takes their place. The more money at your disposal the easier this becomes as you have the income to better able to shape your own environment.
     
    #140     Aug 20, 2012