Dear Colleagues, I have a few reasons for starting this thread. One of them is that at this time I have nothing else to lose. I hope it helps some of you as I hope that it can also help me. I started trading full time 4 and half years ago. As everyone, I knew it was going to be tough, but I was ok with it, as I have considered myself very resilient, smart and very committed. In my wildest dreams I never thought I would do or have to do the things I have done. Too many to list. Before I start with what I want to share with all of you, I would like to state that my failings have not been from lack of work or dedication but from not having the ability to hold on to the ideas that I have had, which in the majority of the cases have been very profitable. I have learned a lot about myself during the last few years, including finding deeply embedded psychological aspects of my personality that have been a hindrance to my success in trading and other areas of my life. Aspects that I had not been consciously been aware of, until I got involved in trading. Over the last years I tried everything under then sun to find exactly what has kept me from being and achieving my full potential. Specifically looking for the reasons of why I couldnât profit from my excellent research capabilities to correctly analyze markets. As I learned more and more about psychology, I started to put the pieces together and realized that âhidden issuesâ were keeping me from profiting and that these issues did not come from my youth or upbringing, but were completely hereditary. Just one of these issues, something I discovered just this November while visiting a psychiatrist, was that I had suffered from G.A.D. (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) all my life. I wasnât aware of this as I thought that my way of thinking and being, even though too fast, was a positive for life in general. In reality, especially for trading, the opposite is true. A person with GAD will tend to have an exaggerated range of feelings and emotions almost constantly. That I found myself visiting a psychiatrist at the age of 41, was without any doubt the very last thing I thought I would ever do. Discovering I had GAD is just one of the things I have discovered. Unfortunately by the time I did, it was too late as I had already depleted most of my funds. The good news is that I have gotten to know myself very well, as I had to do an incredible amount of research to get to the point were I can now clearly see where I have been wrong and which have been my biggest weaknesses. There are a couple of thoughts that I think can be worthy of sharing. Here they are: There is a pattern of emotional behavior that can develop into a addictive cycle in our minds as we look for ways to create consistency in our approach to the markets. Hale Dowskin, in his excellent book The Sedona Method explains that emotions are linear as per the amount of energy we allow them to have. He categorizes emotions from the lowest to the highest energy levels as follows: Apathy-Grief-Fear-Lust-Anger-Pride-Courageousness-Acceptance-Peace As it relates to trading, these are the feelings associated to each level of the cycle. Lust: Anticipation, Canât wait, Compulsive, Demanding, Fixated, Frustrated, Greedy, Impatient, Reckless. Fear: Anxious, Apprehensive, Cautious, Doubt, Hesitant, Nervous, Panic, Uncertain, Vulnerable. Grief: Ashamed, Betrayed, Cheated, Disappointed, Guilty, Helpless, Hurt, If only, Loss, Regret, Wounded. As I put all these emotions together in this order, I realized that I had been involved in this emotional cycle from the beginning. If one looks at them backwards, it can be conjured that if one eliminates lust, there canât be any fear or grief to follow. By eliminating lust, one can break this cycle. Obviously easier said than done, but very important to be aware of. A second thought I would like to share is the following. As per Dowskinâs book, our mind thinks in images. A test would be if I were to tell you not to think about a white elephant, most likely you would picture in your mind a white elephant anyway. The reason for this is that our mind can not see or process words of negation like, no, not, donât, stop..etcâ¦ (check your trading rules) In essence then, âfear projects a positive image of itself to our mind and subconscious mindâ. That is the most likely reason why as humans, what we fear the most is what is most likely to happen to us. Hope this helps and brings clarity to some of you. As I stated at the beginning of this thread, I have nothing to lose, so I have nothing to fear. At this time I am looking for any of the following if somebody can help me. + A job, if it is related to trading. I am very good at research; I have 5 years of experience watching the world markets and how they relate to each other. + Money. Any amount. Any contribution. + A partner or partners. I can move anywhere in the world. I can bring the best deals to the table because my research is amazing, as it seems to me that it will be a waste of time for me to keep trying to learn trade management when my real strength is in finding the best deals possible. It is screwed up for me to know that I know so much, and have been correct in my assessment so many times, and have not been able to profit from this knowledge. Yes, I am not quitting. I know I can be very valuable to somebody out there, and it seems that this is the correct way forward for me. This is one step forward.