No, apology, please, this was very nice conversation which naturally flow from here to another topic. The life is flow not just rules, you agree? Hope moderators will move this thread to the psychology.
If I were a moderator I would move this thread out of chit chat so that it would be active in ET lists and even contribute some points as to how to live with the loss of a dog and trade successfully. ElectricSavant
I'm doing pretty well. It was tough losing a long term girlfriend (mutual decision), and having to put my dog of 13 years down 8 days later. It was a tough few months. And my biggest mistake was trying to make up for the pain by making money in the markets. Very bad idea. I'm a good, profitable trader who's been at this for over 20 years, but holy cow, my head was a mess. I did so so in April and May, but I had a horrible June because I just kept pressing and trying things I wouldn't normally do. I am very systematic in my trades, but I started going all over the place with very little discipline. In a way, it actually felt good to lose sometimes. (Good reason to have this moved to Psychology). That's when I knew it was time for a break. I didn't trade the last week of June, and did 10 trades the week of the 4th. That week I had 2 winners and 8 losers, and did a little better than break even, so I was back on track with managing risk and letting winners run. That actually felt pretty good. I didn't trade this week, and I'm going to ease my way into earnings season. I feel like I'm ready, but I learned my lesson when it comes to pressing too much. Another thing I should bring up is that as soon as the shit hit the fan starting April 1st, I started hitting the workouts really hard. I lost 20 pounds in 2 months, not only because of working out, but also not having an appetite, and only eating very healthy food when I was hungry. I was covering things up with losing weight and trying to gain confidence. And it was working. Then I got complacent with my weight loss and workouts. I was still in pain, happy with the fact that I made so much progress with my health, and tired of working out so hard, so I started hitting the beer pretty hard. That started, or at least contributed to, my horrible trading in June. The thing is, I didn't really see the correlation until a couple of weeks ago. Pretty stupid, actually. But now I feel like I'm back on track mentally and physically after a really tough workout week. It's going to be awhile before I can put everything in the past. I still miss them both every day, but it is getting easier. And to state the obvious, don't cover up pain with alcohol. You might get temporarily numb, but the next day is mentally and physically horrible, it makes the healing take much longer, and it messes up other parts of your life. All in all, I am learning a lot about myself. My daily motto when I get out of bed is "relax, be disciplined, just keep moving forward." Thank you, all.
Thanks JN, Nothing in your journey is really stupid...so do not feel that way. As you go through the various stages where do you feel your at? https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief/ es
I'd say the second, more mild form of depression, and acceptance when it comes to both my dog and the relationship. There was never really anger or bargaining when it came to putting the dog down, because I knew it was coming soon. He was 15. But I was in those phases for a very long time as they pertain to the relationship. There is still some anger and resentment there once in a while, but it's time to move on and just take care of myself at this point.
Your experience proves that there was a direct effect on your trading in a major way. Do you think there are any long term changes to your outlook on trading? Again I am so sorry for your loss and I honestly do not know how to prepare for such a thing. ES