Litle Known Sarah Palin Facts

Discussion in 'Politics & Religion' started by Yannis, Sep 11, 2008.

  1. Yannis


    Chuck Norris’s Favorite Sarah Palin Facts

    This is a truly great day. Chuck Norris, the Man himself, has deigned to give an approving fist pump to us as chroniclers of the Little Known Facts about Sarah Palin. He cites his personal favorites as follows:

    -Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.

    -Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt, because she can throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

    -And my favorite: Sarah Palin is courageous and tough enough to shave Chuck Norris’s beard - and face off against his third fist disguised as a chin.

    In honor of Mr. Norris’s compliments, we have created a design at the newly launched Sarah Palin Facts Gear, where you can purchase t-shirts and other sundries, using one of his own Chuck Norris approved favorite facts...

    Sarah Palin was to walk out to the singing of Angels, but convention organizers thought it might come off as showing off.

    Sarah Palin’s suit is made from 100% dead liberal skin.

    Sarah Palin prepped for this speech with a ritual sacrifice of Susan Estrich.

    Sarah Palin has actually travelled backwards in time from after the roll call to accept the nomination retroactively.

    Sarah Palin doesn’t actually have an accent, it’s distortion from her telepathic broadcast directly into your brain.

    In 2003, the US considered deploying Sarah Palin to Iraq as a 1-woman commando squad, but wanted to make it a fair fight.

    As head of Alaska’s Nat’l Guard, Sarah Palin taught troops in a training exercise to scare a grenade into not exploding.

    Sarah Palin drives herself to work everyday - in an M1A1 tank

    Sarah Palin believes in change, too. She takes it from your pockets after striking you dead.

    Sarah Palin wears three quarter length sleeves to keep from getting blood on her clothes when she kills liberals.

    Glasses sales up 150 percent since Sarah palin became nominee.

    The diamonds in Sarah Palin’s earrings were crushed with her very hands.

    Sarah Palin’s use of the word “Haberdashery” will bring it back in style.

    Sarah Palin can roll a natural 20 on a d6 (gamers, you know it!)

    Sarah Palin loves opening up a can of whoop-ass.

    It’s not over until Sarah Palin says it’s over.

    Sarah Palin coded the original prototype for Facebook.

    Sarah Palin had the original idea to drop the “e” from Flickr

    Sarah Palin writes low level device drivers for Linux

    Sarah Palin knows why Twitter doesn’t scale but she wants us to have the joy of finding out on our own

    Sarah Palin doesn’t have a favorite web framework. She is a web framework.

    Sarah Palin was the first one to know that Scoop sucks

    Sarah Palin is the reason compasses point North.

    Queen Elizabeth II curtsied when she was introduced to Sarah Palin

    Sarah Palin’s image already appears on the newer nickels

    Fox is starting a new reality show… when Sarah Palin Attacks

    Sarah Palin wants you to LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!!!

    Sarah Palin’s enemies are automatically added to the Endangered Species List

    Sarah Palin as VP increases Depends sales among scatalogically frightened Democrats

    Sarah Palin is what Willis was talkin bout

    When Sarah Palin attends ritual blood orgies, she always brings the most delicious ambrosia salad

    To prep for her role as Tracy Flick in “Election,” Witherspoon spent the ‘98 seal clubbing season with Palin

    Ben Linus does Sarah Palin’s bidding

    Death once had a near-Sarah Palin experience

    Sarah Palin can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves!

    In the original version, He-Man had the power of Sarah Palin, but the writers felt this would make him way too powerful

    Sarah Palin can keep a Twitter meme going on and on like a rave kid on X.

    Sarah Palin was not flown to Ohio in charter jet- she ran as part of morning workout.

    N. Alaska is sunny half the year and dark half the year because Sarah Palin needed the reading light, then wanted a nap

    Sarah Palin begins every day with a moment of silence for the political enemies buried in her yard.

    Sarah Palin always beats the point spread.

    Sarah Palin once bit the head off a live Osprey snatched from the air as it tried to fly off with a fish she caught.

    Sarah Palin uses French Canadians as bait to catch giant king salmon.

    When Sarah Palin booked a flight to Europe, the French immediately surrendered.

    Sarah Palin plays Whack-a-Mole with her forehead, and always gets a perfect score.

    Sarah Palin knows who was on the grassy knoll.

    Sarah Palin’s finishing move in the VP debate will be pulling

    Biden’s still beating heart from his chest & taking a bite.

    Sarah Palin secretly runs Mashable as a way to keep tabs on the rest of us.

    Sarah Palin isn’t allowed to wield the gavel at the convention because they’re afraid she’ll use it to kill liberals.

    Sarah Palin once won a competitive eating contest by devouring three live caribou.

    Sarah Palin once carved a perfect likeness of the Mona Lisa in a block of ice using only her teeth.

    Sarah Palin will pry your Klondike bar from your cold dead fingers.
    Sarah Palin pick retroactively makes the theme of #DNC08 “Things To Do In Denver When You’re Dead”

    Sarah Palin doesn’t need a gun to hunt. She has been known to throw a bullet through an adult bull elk.

    Some other great ones.

    Sarah Palin drives a Zamboni to work.

    Sarah Palin was kicked off Survivor for killing a man and eating his entrails.

    Sarah Palin has asked the CIA to investigate, find and dispatch the person who started Little Known Fact (I’m hoping this isn’t true)

    Sarah Palin is actually Kaiser Sose.

    Sarah Palin can divide by zero.

    :) :) :)