No kids here but very similar background otherwise. Both my wife and I semi-retired and we only manage our seizable nest egg. My wife previously worked in the same industry as well and was always exposed to tons of clients all day long for 15 years or so. She now loves to do things at home and relax and has no issues with alone time. I sat next to other traders for 15 years and I can't now sit still for 5 minutes. It constantly drives me outside to do stuff. Similar career duration and people exposure, totally different outcome. Some notes to myself: - I have well established hobbies and I love that but they are seasonal - I make an effort to maintain relationships with several bros in town. Someone else mentioned that. It's absolutely essential to my wellbeing to get together with the dudes and sit down for coffee or whatever and chat in the cold months when there is not much one can do outside due to the climate. My wife is totally supportive of my buddy relationships. - having said that I and my wife try to spice things up, we introduced a weekly date night where we hang out outside, it's been a gamechanger for our relationship. (we have been married for close to 20 years now, the fresh couples probably won't understand ;-) - and what really works for us is to invest our time meaningfully together to volunteer. We volunteer a lot for many different causes. We were really previleged in our previous careers and have been blessed with a well funded account so we truly believe to give some of that back and invest in those who want to do well but could not for lack of resources or environmental limitations. That had really given us additional meaning. If that all won't help then hit the gym and work on that elusive sixpack in our advanced age ;-)
Trading can make you reclusive. Join a gym and train with weights 11:30-1:00 , eat lunch and hit the trading again at 2. Keep in mind everyone who works with people hate it so consider yourself lucky.
+1 Having and seeing friends is the way to go. That's in theory. In practice, friends are not that easy to find and keep. And with the covid restrictions, it's even more complicated...
Love it. The date nights are out of question for now as our youngest is 1 yr old but we miss them. What are your seasonal hobbies if I may ask. We have recently relocated to the country side and I have no bros around here. This is a recurrent theme so probably a huge factor then. Has any one tried lifestyle coaching?
I must add to the above that the skills that make me good at trading make me a bad friend (inverse correlation between IQ and emotional-Q in my case). Not on the spectrum at all, but kind of feels like it. I found studies more interesting than other kids at uni, others on the trading floor were competition, etc...
Find a babysitter, pay your older kids, find a neighbor. Do not give up date nights. You are clearly a successfully married person, but you both need adult time.
Please take this as positively as possible. There is the saying: "Boring people are bored". There are many ways to take this, of course. Some people can do anything and be engaged and never bored. Others can do many things and be bored. I once spent a vacation with a couple in Tasmania. They race walked all the trails in the national park in a day, and then they were bored and wanted to leave. I went up a couple of kilometers and found many interesting things (birds, geology, fauna etc). I would have taken me months to do.... Probably the takeaway, is attitude matters more than the "activity".