Not the same with Iraqi information official off the air By MARK LANE FOOTNOTE Last updated: Apr 11, 12:40 AM You want to hear someone who is disciplined? Who stays on message? Who communicates the message of the day forcefully? Look at this chronology: APRIL 3: "They are nowhere near Baghdad . . . The lies of these losers have no end." SATURDAY: "It is difficult for the U.S. forces that are surrounded in Saddam Airport to come out alive. Now, the entire direction is in our favor and we will annihilate what is left of the forces that attacked the airport." SUNDAY: "Today we slaughtered them in the airport. They are out of Saddam International Airport. The force that was in the airport, this force was destroyed." MONDAY: "Don't repeat the lies of the liars . . . The infidels are committing suicide by the hundreds on the gates of Baghdad. As our leader Saddam Hussein said, 'God is grilling their stomachs in hell.' " TUESDAY: "We are going to tackle them and going to destroy them. They are going to surrender or be burned in their tanks." WEDNESDAY: Unavailable for comment. Now, that's staying on message. So I'm sure it's not only British and American armed forces, political enemies and war-crimes tribunal investigators who are looking for him now. There must be corporate recruiters, too. Both headhunters and people who just want his head. This is a guy who could sell Enron stock to the Florida state pension system. Again. Or at least make the pitch forcefully. You want a highly motivated, organization man who puts the team first? Hey, this guy turned his own brother-in-law over to the secret police. You want a person who takes his message over the heads of the media directly to his niche audience? You want a crisis-management real-time communicator who is undistracted by side issues and the niggling naysaying of pesky reporters? He's yours if you can find him. I don't know where he is now. If he's at the bottom of a bomb crater or if he's poolside at the Sheraton Towers of Damascus, it doesn't really matter. Because every time a guy stands in front of a microphone to tell transparent lies for somebody with power, his spirit will live on. mark.lane@news-jrnl.com