Surprised MrMarket hasn't chimed in with a suggestion. Of course his suggestion would be ..... MrMarket
I remember one time in Bangkok when we were on leave. Me and the guv'nor went to see some Thai boxing in one of the suburbs. Picture the scene: A hot balmy Thai evening as we pulled up in the jeep outside what can only be described as a large tent. The occasion was the final of the Fuc King Wan Kin un-licensed boxing tournament. These boys were tough - ever seen boxing gloves with Kitchen Devil knives strapped to them ? Ever seen boxing shorts with broken glass glued to them ? It wasn't often men like us were granted leave and when we were we played hard. And drank hard. And did all the other things that hard bastards do on their days off. Anyway, there we were looking forward to what promised to be the fight of the century. Forget the Louisville Lip, forget the Brown Bomber, forget Flowerday and Balboa this was the real deal - the ruckus in the....er....tent thing. Anyway, the guv, fresh from giving a technical analysis lecture at Pong Fanee University ( where he reportedly killed a student who failed to recognise a descending triangle ) decides he wants to have a bet. "Come on Boss" I said " You already have those condors on can't you leave it alone ?" I didn't have a chance - when the guv'nor wants something he goes for it. Little did I know he'd had a leak ( not in the American sense of the phrase ) and knew that Lee Hung Low was going down in the fifth. He lumped on with all the evil looking Thai bookies and we sat back to enjoy the show. In 20 yrs service I have never seen anything so gruesome. It was worse than when John "Legsy" Leggsville mistankenly thought a stick of brown dynamite was one of his Havanas. Blood, guts, noodles - it was everywhere. Sure enough, both fighters came out for the 5th and 30 seconds in under a flurry of blows Lee Hung Low crumples to the canvas never to rise again.Deads. There was pandemonium. The guv'nor and I went to collect his loot and were immediately surrounded by the evil looking Thai bookies. "You cheating round eye cunts" they shouted whilst reaching into the shoulder holsters concealed under their Palm Tree print shirts. Shit ! Now me and the guv have been in some tight spots I can tell you. This was tight. Tighter than Wheeler in a bar-room, tighter than Knighty's combats . Tight ! I looked at the guv. He nodded at me - our special secret signal that we had used for years. In a flash the guv's arm had shot out. Do you know what he did ? Do you know what he did ? GRABBED ONE OF THE BOOKIES SAT PHONES, CUT HIS CONDORS AND SPOOFED 10000 SCHATZ. All the bookies dropped dead in surprise. We hot footed it to the nearest whorehouse. Hard men at work and play. Bloody marvellous
Now here's a little story To tell it is a must About an unsung hero That moves away the dust Some people make a fortune Others earn a mint My old man don't earn much In fact he's bloomin' skint Oh my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat He looks a proper 'nana In his great big hob nailed boots He's got such a job to pull 'em up That he calls 'em daisy roots Some folks give tips at christmas And some of them forget So when he picks their bins up He spills some on the step Now one old man got nasty And to the council wrote Next time my old man went round there He punched him up the throat Oh my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat I say I say Les (Yeah) I found a police dog in my dustbin (How do you know it was a police dog) He had a policeman with him Though my old mans a dustman He's got an 'art of gold He got married recently Though he's 86 years old We said 'ere hang on dad You're getting past your prime He said well when you get my age It 'elps to pass the time Oh my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat I say I say I say My dustbin's full of lilies (Well throw'em away then) I can't lily's wearing 'em Now one day whilst in a hurry He missed a ladies bin He hadn't gone but a few yards When she chased after him What game d'you think you're playing She cried right from the 'art You've missed me am I too late Nah jump up on the cart Oh my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat I say I say I say (Not you again) My dustbin's absolutely full with toadstools (How d'you know it's full) Cuz there's not mushroom inside He found a tiger's head one day Nailed to a piece of wood The tiger looked quite miserable But I suppose he should Just then from out the window A voice began to wail He said Oy where's me tigers head Four feet from his tail Oh my old man's a dustman He wears a dustman's hat He wears cor blimey trousers And he lives in a council flat Next time you see a dustman Looking all pale and sad Don't kick him in the dustbin It might me my old dad
SPCUL8R Still avalilable in AZ! I'm getting this...it also goes well with my car, which is a Spec V. Hence, the plate could be interpreted as "Speculator" OR AS "Spec V you later" for the people that just don't know better.