Just a random trade story

Discussion in 'Psychology' started by orbit23, Jul 9, 2020.

  1. orbit23

    orbit23

    Up 1500 on the trade. "This one is going to be a nice one. It ain't even started, expecting a 10x more..".

    The unbiased scalper in me checks the chart. We are at HTF resistance, unlikely that we just break-thru i think to myself. "Looks like a top too". Even say that to my friend. At the same time i realize, yeah if it is the top, i might look smart, but i am not taking any responsibility and action... All i see is a fucken potential 15grand reward.... "Let your winners run i say to myself", and i do nothing.

    I go to sleep. Fuck, it was a top indeed. Dumped, but bounced back up when i woke up at same profit. It's not looking good, higher timeframes now look like a top too and price is rejecting. "Should i close?" I think about the potential profits, i do nothing.

    I even get a short setup on lower timeframes, i wanted to atleast hedge the position.
    "Volatility is too low, i can't make a profit, it probably only dumps 0.2%, i'd barely cover the fees".
    "It will dump a little, but then go up higher, have to hold " (That's what i thought and believed).

    I went on to meditate for 10mins, and i noticed it. "I feel like I am slightly derailing….lacking off..if it ain't happening it ain't..manage the situation..!". Wrote that in the diary before shit happened. I knew that i was getting away from what i do well, which is playing the god damn setups and managing the positions.


    And baam it dumps down hard. I wasn't actively watching there( i didn't even want to watch, i just hoped to come back to profits), but i just happened to check the monitors. I was lucky to have just not been stopped by a damn tick, the price bounced back to my entry so i close the position at breakeven, probably slight loss after fees.

    It was an instant reaction, i did not know what i was doing, but i could feel the fucking was coming and did the right thing. So there was atleast an element of luck, or i would've lost 500.

    Angry as angry gets. When i get angry though it's usually just a burst that goes thru my body very quickly, lasts a few seconds, i stomp on the table unconsciously and curse, but after that it clears the fog and brings me to focus very quickly.
    I feel fucking nothing if i lose a trade, i feel even less if i win, but if i don't act as intended, if there are regrets, I WANT TO FUCKING CARVE MY EYEBALLS OUT.

    Anyways i used to have a tendancy to keep perpetuating the bad feelings, but by the time i finished this post, honestly i don't even care anymore. Even though i felt clear, there was still that element of wanting to fight back and do something, so i decided to write a post about it instead.

    Kinda ironic though how i say that i don't care about winning or losing, but pretty much every time, when i think about a big reward, my mind goes fucking crazy. Holy shit it's like a firework goes off. Might be a slight of a gambling issue there, because as they say it's not the reward by itself that feels good, but the anticipation of.
     
    Grantx, Axon and Onra like this.
  2. Reduce your position size if you get that psychotic over a 500 dollars
     
    orbit23, SunTrader and jys78 like this.
  3. orbit23

    orbit23

    I don't get psychotic about 500, but i get pissed when i don't do as intended when i am up 1500, and i only imagine i could make 10k+..and then it's gone
     
  4. Overnight

    Overnight

    Well, you did what everyone says to do...Let your winners run and cut your losses short.

    And you wound up at BE. Isn't that great bloody advice? It is such folley. The only way to let winners run is to swing trade, but if you do that you also have to let your losers run.
     
  5. SunTrader

    SunTrader

    Let winners run has nothing to do with, let winners turn into break-even.
     
  6. volpri

    volpri

    Grab them profits. Forget letting winners run. If price runs after you grab them profits jump back in. But by grabbing profits you avoid a winner turning into a loser and have a higher win rate. I been preaching it.....“Grab them profits.” Not many concur with me.
     
  7. orbit23

    orbit23

    Yeah i need a much better rules, when to hold them and when to fold them. For now, the rules is i can hold if i get a higher timeframe setup. I enter on lower timeframe like 15min/5min chart and then if that price action turns into a higher timeframe pattern, i can hold for an expansion, since usually higher timeframes show a potential bigger move.

    One of the reasons to exit would be a counter-trade setup, which i had.. But my main problem is wishful thinking. I have good imagination and if i let it run uncontrollably, it's really powerful. Anticipation of a reward, imagining that pot of gold, it's like a drug, really.

    It negatively impacts the judgement, it's a distraction which is the main obstacle when trying to perform. Thinking about money, really bad. Will try to to be more aware of it. I actually know it when it's happening, but it feels good so i let it run i think.

    It took me really long for this one to take serious action on, cuz i was aware of it for a long time.

    If i find myself thinking, anticipating, expecting, wishing... Alarms go off. Somehow i let that one slide though.
     
  8. Well, there is much to say about being more ‘mechanical’ — good luck ...
     
  9. actively

    actively

    Just take care of your emotions. It can happens so I understand you
     
  10. orbit23

    orbit23

    I feel like a predator today. The hunter. Ready to stalk that gazelle and fucking choke the shit out of it.

    Does it means i should press hard when i see an edge playing out and go for the kill? Or should i watch out as to not get too aggressive and fuck myself.

    I feel like i should press hard, but i don't want to.
     
    #10     Jul 10, 2020