We are a nation of lawyers. A nation of lawsuits. And a nation of LAWS.....comes with being a democracy.
ok so this guy goes into an empty restroom goes up to the urinal and starts doin his thing. all of a sudden a leprechaun walks into the bathroom in full attire and says to the man, (irish accent) "hello, young man, i am a leprechaun and a granter of wishes, would you like to be granted any wish you choose?" the man, suprised, readily agrees. the leprachaun then replies, "well, before i can grant you your wish i must secure your hands and feet so that when you receive what you wish for you will be restrained and be able to better decide if that is what you really wish for. many times a man may rush upon gold or women and then realize their wish lies elsewhere." the man, ponders a beat and gives his consent realizing the wisdom of the leprechaun's words. the leprechaun then proceeds to tie the man to the urinal. once completed and satisfied with the job, the leprechaun begins to undress himself revealing a rather large leprechaun penis. the man then says, "Uhhh, what are you doing, do I get my wish n..." the leprechaun hastily interrupts and asks, "sonny, how old are you?" the man replies, "um, 36." the leprechaun smiles and then snides, "aren't you a little old to be believin' in leprechauns?"
Trading online is just great! I find it really speeds things up. I now get my margin calls 5x faster than before. ___________________________________________ If you put two investors in a room, you get two opinions, unless one of them is a pump and dumper, in which case you get three opinions. ___________________________________________
A man is eating dinner in a restaurant. He notices a kid at the next table flipping a quarter in the air and trying to catch it with his teeth. The kid misses, quarter gets stuck in his throat and he starts to choke. The man calmly gets up, walks over, grabs the kid by the nuts, and squeezes. The kid yells in pain, and the quarter pops out. The man picks it up from the floor, puts it in his pocket and goes back to finish his meal. A woman at another table goes up to the man and says "I never saw anything like that. Are you some kind of new-age doctor?" The man says "Not me. I'm a NASDAQ market maker."