Here's another, for you know, when you wanna tell someone to go eat shit. http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/crap-fork.jpg
Southwest Airlines Service A mother and her very young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago. The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs, and big cats have baby cats, why don't big airplanes have baby airplanes?" The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to go ask the stewardess. So the boy went down the aisle and asked the stewardess. The stewardess, who was very busy at the time, smiled and said, "Did your Mom tell you to ask me?" The boy said, "yes she did." "Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby airplanes because Southwest always pulls out on time." "Have your Mom explain that to you."
Walmart at its Best: A very unattractive, mean actin' woman walks into Walmart with her two kids. The Walmart Greeter, asks, "Are they twins"? The ugly woman says, "No, the oldest one, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7. Why? Do you think they really look alike? "No", replies the greeter, "I just couldn't believe you got laid twice"! ____________________
A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters. The place was hopping with music & loud conversation and every once in a while, the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, "May I please use the restroom?" The bartender replied, "OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf." "Well, in that case I'll just look the other way," said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant, and she proceeded to the restroom. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, "Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me? Just because I went to the restroom?" "Well, now they know you're one of us," said the bartender. Would you like a drink?" "But, I still don't understand," said the puzzled nun. "You see," laughed the bartender, "every time the fig leaf on the statue is lifted up, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?"