Corporate Life # 30 âHow long have you been working here?â âEver since the boss threatened to fire me!â
A man enters a bar and orders a drink. The bar has a robot bartender. The robot serves him a perfectly prepared cocktail, and then asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "About 150," and the robot proceeds to make conversation about global warming factors, quantum physics and spirituality, biomimicry, environmental interconnectedness, string theory, nano-technology, and sexual proclivities. The customer is very impressed and thinks, "This is really cool." He decides to test the robot. He walks out of the bar, turns around, and comes back in for another drink. Again, the robot serves him the perfectly prepared drink and asks him, "What's your IQ?" The man responds, "About 100." Immediately the robot starts talking, but this time, about football, NASCAR, baseball, cars, beer, guns, and breasts. Really impressed, the man leaves the bar and decides to give the robot one more test. He heads out and returns, the robot serves him and asks, "What's your IQ?" The man replies, "Er, 50, I think." And the robot says... real slow like... "So..........ya......gonna......vote......for......Bush......again???"
I admit it, I voted for Bush... I was blinded by his secret genius: http://politicalhumor.about.com/gi/...icalhumor&zu=http://www.wimp.com/presidential
Four Catholic ladies are having coffee together,discussing how important their children are. The first one tells her friends, "My son is a priest. When he walks into a room, everyone calls him"Father." The second Catholic woman chirps, "Well, my son is a bishop. Whenever he walks into a room, people say, 'Your Grace'." The third Catholic woman says smugly, "Well, not to put you down, but my son is a cardinal. Whenever he walks into a room, people say 'Your Eminence'." The fourth Catholic woman sips her coffee in silence. The first three women give her this subtle "Well...?" She replies, "My son is a gorgeous, 6'2", hard-bodied, well hung, male stripper. Whenever he walks into a room, women say, "My God...." :eek:
Bragging The Italian says, "When I've a finsished a makina da love withah my wife, I go downa and gently tickle the the back of her knees, I tella you, she floats 6 inches above a da bed in ecstacy." The frenchman replies, "Zat iz nothing, when I 'ave finished makein ze love wiz ze wife, Ah kiss all ze way down 'er body and zen Ah lick za soles of her feet wiz mah tongue, and she floats 12 inches above ze bed in pure ecstasy." The redneck fires off at both, "That ain't nothin'. When I finish porkin' the old lady, I git out of bed and wipe my weener on the curtains. She freakin' hits the ceilin'."
Observations "Now, that looks like a happily married couple," remarks the husband. "Don't be too sure, my Dear. They are probable saying the same thing about us," replies the wife.
POEM - Illegal Immigrants I cross ocean, poor and broke, Take bus, see employment folk. Nice man treat me good in there, Say I need go see Welfare. Welfare say, "You come no more, We send cash right to your door." Welfare checks, they make you wealthy, Medicaid it keep you healthy! By and by, Got plenty money, Thanks to you, TAXPAYER dummy. Write to friends in motherland, Tell them 'come, fast as you can' They come in turbans and Ford trucks, I buy big house with welfare bucks. They come here, we live together, More welfare checks, it gets better! Fourteen families, they moving in, But neighbor's patience wearing thin. Finally, white guy moves away, .. I buy his house, and then I say, "Find more aliens for house to rent." In my yard I put a tent. Send for family they just trash, ... But they, too, draw welfare cash! Everything is very good, Soon we own whole neighborhood. We have hobby it called breeding, Welfare pay for baby feeding. Kids need dentist? Wife need pills? We get free! We got no bills! TAXPAYER crazy! He pay all year, To keep welfare r unning here. We think Canada/America darn good place! Too darn good for white man race. If they no like us, they can scram, Got lots of room in Pakistan.