Warning! Liberals should simply delete this. Project: Morality Test This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand, morally. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember that your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please scroll down slowly and consider each line. You are in Florida. In Miami, to be exact. There is chaos all around, caused by a hurricane, with severe flooding. This is a flood of biblical proportions. You are a photo journalist, working for a major newspaper, and youâre caught in the middle of this great disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is showing all of its destructive fury. You see a woman in the water. She is fighting for her life, trying not to be taken away with the debris. You move closer . . . somehow the woman looks familiar. Suddenly you know who it is . . . it's Hillary Clinton! At the same time, you notice that the raging waters are about to take her under, forever. You have two options: you can save the life of Hillary Clinton or you can shoot a Pulitzer Prize-winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful women. Here's the question and please give an honest answer: Would you select color film or would you go with the classic simplicity of black and white?
going counter-clockwise with your left foot... draw the number 9 with your right hand. I just tried that, and my nose started bleeding.
The government today announced that it is changing its emblem from an Eagle to a CONDOM because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance. A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
International symbol of marriage is Approved by the UN New York-AP- On April 21, 2005, After 5 months of heated debate, the Commission of Human Rights of the United Nations approved the new International Symbol of Marriage.
A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He instructed his wife to go to the bank and withdraw enough money to fill two pillowcases. He then directed her to take the bags of money to the attic and leave them directly above his bed. His plan: When he passed away, he would reach out and grab the bags on his way to heaven. Several weeks after the funeral, the deceased lawyer's wife, up in the attic cleaning came upon the two forgotten pillowcases, still stuffed with cash. "Oh, that old fool," she exclaimed. "I knew he should have had me put the money in the basement." :eek:
One morning while making breakfast, a man walked up to his wife and pinched her on her butt and said, 'You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of your girdle.' While this was on the edge of intolerable, she glared at him and replied with silence. The next morning the man woke his wife with a pinch on the breast and said, 'You know if you firmed these up we could get rid of your bra.' This was beyond a silence response, so she rolled over and grabbed him by the penis. With a death grip in place she said, 'You know if you firmed this up we could get rid of the postman, the gardener, the pool man and your brother.'
A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, 'STOP! STOP! You're not going to cut it off, are you???' The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, 'Nope. You are. I'm going to set the garage on fire.'