TA, This story is very interesting, I'm sure it's accurate. Is it also true that the New York importing company had to get a replacement for that load of mayonnaise to send down to Mexico, but they couldn't find anything good, they just sent regular New Jersey mayonnaise down there, via train... which arrived a bit late and tired... giving rise to the alternate Mexican hoiliday later in the month, called "Stinko de Mayo?"
(Just in case our Mexican friends get the idea that we don't know beans about their history) The City of Puebla, in the state of the same name has taken important roles in Mexico's history. It was taken in 1811 by Independence forces. It was soon retaken by Spanish loyalists and it wasn't until 1821 when it came to rebel hands again, just before the Independence Treaty in Mexico City. Through the 19th century, despite two heroic stands against French invaders, it gained a reputation as a conservative, Catholic city whose Mexican patriotism was suspect. In 1847 the city refused to let General Santa Anna defend it against the invading US forces, who took it unopposed. The French, in 1862 expected a welcome too, but the generals appointed by President Benito Juares to defend Puebla had other plans. General Ignacio Zaragoza fortified the Hill of Guadalupe north of the city. On May, 5th his 2001 military man and Puebla citizens, armed with home and farm tools, defeated a frontal attack by 6000 men of the best trained army of the time. General Porfirio Diaz won reputation leading the repulse of the final French assault. The city is now officially called Puebla de Zaragoza in honor of this victory. The following year, the reinforced French took Puebla after several days of artillery bombardment, an infantry attack which was beaten back, and a two month siege. Many of the defenders were sent to France as prisoners. The city was occupied until retaken by Porfirio Diaz in 1867. The celebration of the Cinco de Mayo is the third in importance in Mexico after the Independence Day on September 16th, and the November 20th Revolution Day. The Cinco de Mayo, however, is the biggest Mexican celebration in the United States.
Effective ways to keep a healthy level of insanity in the workplace: 1. Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.) 2. Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Always wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is a different gender than you are.) 3. While sitting at your desk, soak your fingers in "Palmolive." 4. Put up mosquito netting around your cubicle. 5. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask them if they want fries with that. 6. Put your garbage can on your desk. Label it "IN." 7. Determine how many cups of coffee are "too many." 8. Put decaf in the coffeemaker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso. 9. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors." 10. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 11. When driving colleagues around insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep 'em tuned up." 12. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think?" 13. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a Parakeet. 14. Sit in the parking lot at lunchtime pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 15. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith for advice about enlarging her breasts. He told her, "Everyday when you get out of the shower, rub your nipples and say, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." So she did this faithfully for several months, and it worked! She grew great boobs! One morning, she was running late and when she was on the bus, she realized she had forgotten her morning ritual. At this point, she loved her new boobs and didn't want to lose them, so she got up, right in the middle of the bus, and said, "Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies." A guy was sitting nearby and asked her, "Do you go to Dr. Smith by any chance?" "Why, yes, I do. How did you know?" He leaned toward her and whispered, "Hickory dickory dock."
1. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest? They Take The Psycho Path 2. How Do You Get Holy Water? You Boil The Hell Out Of It. 3. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall? Dam! 4. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit? Unique Up On It. 5. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit? Tame Way, Unique Up On It. 6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroid's 7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work? A Stick 8. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours? Nacho Cheese. 9. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers? Subordinate Clauses. 10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand? Quattro Sinko. 11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow? Spoiled Milk. 12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire? Frostbite. 13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches? A Nervous Wreck. 14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup? Anyone Can Roast Beef. 15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs? Right Where You Left Him. 16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils? Because They Have Big Fingers. 17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive? Because It Scares The Dog. 18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic? Sanka. 19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover? The Location Of The Dirt Bag. 20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down? Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat. 21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver? A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang! A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack. 22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same? Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before. The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair, and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Brigham Young University, and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent," They throw the switch and nothing happens. The Mexicans immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words, "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent" They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately prostrate themselves; beg for her forgiveness, and release her. The last one, a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Tennessee and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell you right now, y'all ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."
A salesman drove into a small town where a circus was in process. A sign read: Don't Miss The Amazing Italian." The salesman bought a ticket and sat down. There, on center stage, was a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to it was an old Italian. Suddenly, the old man dropped his pants, whipped out his huge male member and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd erupted in applause as the elderly Italian was carried off on the shoulders of the crowd. Ten years later the salesman visited the same little town and saw the faded sign for the same circus and the same sign "Don't Miss The Amazing Italian." He couldn't believe the old guy was still alive much less still doing his act! He bought a ticket. Again, the center ring was illuminated. This time, however, instead of walnuts, three coconuts were placed on the table. The Italian stood before them, then suddenly drops his pants and smashed the coconuts with three swings of his amazing member. The crowd went wild! Flabbergasted, the salesman requested a meeting with him after the show. "You're incredible!" he told the Italian. "But I have to know something. You're older now, why switch from walnuts to coconuts?" "Well," said the Italian, "My eyesa no what they used to be!"