Funny test but number 5's incorrect. The hour hand doesn't move 1 degree per hour, it moves 1/12 of a circle (360 degrees) = 30 degrees per hour.
True, but, I didn't know (and was too lazy to find out) what the actual definition/description should be. See "Light Bulb" dissertation above. . . . .
Tech A and howellpar, Let's look at the question as written: " 5. If the hour hand on a clock moves 1/60 of a degree every minute how many degrees will the hour hand move in one hour?" Which means that the joke is referring to a (maybe unusual) clock where the hour hand moves 1 degree per hour. Therefore, I think the answer was correct to start with, at least mathematically. Why not?
HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN: 1. Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. 2. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. 3. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror--make mental noteâmust do more sit-ups. 4. Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth,leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone. 5. Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins. 6. Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean. 7. Condition your hair with Grapefruit Mint conditioner enhanced with natural avocado oil. Leave on hair for fifteen minutes. 8. Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for ten minutes until red. 9. Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. 10. Rinse conditioner off hair (you must make sure that it has all come off). 11. Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. 12. Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet and you lose the water pressure. 13. Turn off shower. 14. Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. 15. Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country. Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. 16. Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit, tweeze hairs. 17. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. 18. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then sashay to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed. HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN: 1. Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. 2. Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake penis at her making the "woo-woo" sound. 3. Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). Admire the size of your penis in the mirror and scratch your ass. 4. Get in the shower. 5. Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). 6. Wash your face. 7. Wash your armpits. 8. Blow your nose in your hands, then let the water just rinse it off. 9. Crack up at how loud your fart sounds in the shower. 10. Majority of time is spent washing your privates and surrounding area. 11. Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs on the soap bar. 12. Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). 13. Make a shampoo Mohawk. 14. Peek out of shower curtain to look at yourself in the mirror again. 15. Pee (in the shower). 16. Rinse off and get out of the shower. Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. 17. Partially dry off. 18. Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire penis size again. 19. Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. 20. Leave bathroom fan and light on. 21. Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, shake penis at her, and make the "woo-woo" sound again. 22. Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed again.
HOW TO SATISFY A WOMAN EVERY TIME Caress, praise, pamper, relish, savor, massage, make plans, fix, empathize, serenade, compliment, support, feed, tantalize, bathe, humor, placate, stimulate, jiffylube, stroke, console, purr, hug, coddle, excite, pacify, protect, phone, correspond, anticipate, nuzzle, smooch, toast, minister to, forgive, sacrifice for, ply, accessorize, leave, return, beseech, sublimate, entertain, charm, lug, drag, crawl, show equality for, spackle, oblige, fascinate, attend, implore, bawl, shower, shave, trust, grovel, ignore, defend, coax, clothe, brag about, acquiesce, aromate, fuse, fizz, rationalize, detoxify, sanctify, help, acknowledge, polish, upgrade, spoil, embrace, accept, butter-up, hear, understand, jitterbug, locomote, beg, plead, borrow, steal, climb, swim, nurse, resuscitate, repair, patch, crazy-glue, respect, entertain, calm, allay, kill for, die for, dream of, promise, deliver, tease, flirt, commit, enlist, pine, cajole, angelicize, murmur, snuggle, snoozle, snurfle, elevate, enervate, alleviate, spotweld, serve, rub, rib, salve, bite, taste, nibble, gratify, take her places,scuttle like a crab on the ocean floor of her existence, diddle, doodle, hokey-pokey, hanky-panky, crystal blue persuade,flip, flop, fly, don't care if I die, swing, slip, slide, slather, mollycoddle, squeeze, moisturize, humidify, lather, tingle,slam-dunk, keep on rockin' in the free world, wet, slicken, undulate,gelatinize, brush, tingle, dribble, drip, dry, knead, fluff, fold, blue-coralwax, ingratiate, indulge, wow, dazzle, amaze, flabbergast, enchant,idolize and worship, and then go back, Jack, and do it again. HOW TO SATISFY A MAN EVERY TIME Show up naked.
An old one, but still kinda funny⦠----------------------------------------- An unemployed man went to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor. The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test. After the test, the manager says, âYou will be employed as a janitor at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to report for work on your first day.â Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, âWell, then, that means that you virtually donât exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed by Microsoft.â Stunned, the man leaves. Not knowing where to turn and having only $10.00 in his wallet, he buys a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. In less than two hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100.00 before going to sleep that night. Thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly. After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pickup truck to support his expanding business. By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pickup trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes. Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents electronically. When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned. âWhat, you donât have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the Internet from the very start!â âWell,â replied the tomato millionaire, âI would be a janitor at Microsoft!â By definition, a fable must have a moral. This one has four: 1. The Internet, e-mail and e-commerce do not need to rule your life. 2. If you donât have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become millionaire. 3. Since you got this story via e-mail, youâre probably closer to becoming a janitor than you are to becoming a millionaire. 4. If you do have a computer and e-mail, you have already been taken to the cleaners by Microsoft
Life in the 1500's The actual origins of some traditions & axioms. Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and were still smelling pretty good by June. However, they were starting to smell, so brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the b.o. Baths were a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the first bath and clean water, then all the other menfolk, then the women, and finally the children. Last of all were the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the bath water". Houses had thatched roofs. Thick straw, piled high, with no wood support underneath. It was the only place for animals to be warm, so the pets... dogs, cats and other small creatures lived IN the roof. When it rained the roof often would become slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall from the roof. Hence the saying, "It's raining cats and dogs," There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could really mess up your nice clean bed. So, they found if they made beds with big posts and hung a sheet over the top, it addressed that problem. Hence those beautiful big 4 poster beds with canopies to catch the bugs and prevent them from falling into bed with the occupant. Floor were dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt, floors which would get slippery when wet in the winter. So, they spread thresh (corn husks and straw) on the floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on they kept adding more thresh until when you opened the door the thresh would start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed at the entry way to prevent this, hence a "thresh hold". They cooked in the kitchen in a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and didn't get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day. Sometimes the stew had food in it that had been in there for a month. Hence the rhyme: "peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old." Sometimes they could obtain pork and would feel really special when that happened. When company came over, they would bring out some bacon and hang it to show it off. It was a sign of wealth and that a man "could really bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and "chew the fat." Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with a high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food. This happened most often with tomatoes, so they stopped eating tomatoes... for 400 years. Most people didn't have pewter plates, but had trenchers - a piece of wood with the middle scooped out like a bowl. Trencher were never washed and a lot of times worms got into the wood. After eating off wormy trenchers, they would get "trench mouth." Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust". Lead cups were used to drink ale or whiskey. The combination would sometimes knock them out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a "wake". England is old and small and they started running out of places to bury people. So, they would dig up coffins and would take their bones to a house and re-use the grave. In reopening these coffins, one out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside, and they realized they had been burying people while still alive. So they thought to tie a string on their wrist of those buried, and lead the string through the coffin, up through the ground, and tie it to a bell. Someone would sit in the graveyard all night to listen for the bell. Hence on the "graveyard shift" they would know that someone was either "saved by the bell," or was a "dead ringer".
A few days ago I was having some work done at my local garage. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?" She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and I need a new one.." She replied that she did not know exactly what it was, but this piece had always been there. The mechanic gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car which had its hood up and asked "is there a 710 on this car?" She pointed and said, "Of course, its right there." If your not sure what a 710 is, click here. http://rtccom.net/~mfjgolf/710.jpg