COMPUTER TERMS - TEXAS TRANSLATION: LOG ON: Making a wood stove hotter. LOG OFF: Don't add no more wood. MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the wood stove. DOWNLOAD: Gettin' the farwood off the truck. MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin' the farwood. FLOPPY DISC: Whatcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood. RAM: That thing tha splits the farwood. HARD DRIVE: Gettin' home in the winter time. PROMPT: What the mail ain't in the winter time. WINDOWS: What to shut when it's cold outside. SCREEN: What to shut when it's black fly season. BYTE: What them dang flies do. CHIP: Munchies fer the TV. MICRO CHIP: What's in the bottom of the munchie bag. MODEM: Whatcha did to the hay fields. DOT MATRIX: Old Dan Matrix's wife. LAP TOP: Where the kitty sleeps. KEYBOARD: Where ya hang the dang truck keys. SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knives. MOUSE: What eats the grain in the barn. MOUSE PAD: That's hippie talk fer the mouse hole. MAIN FRAME: Holds up the barn roof. ENTER: Northerner talk fer "c'mon in, y'all". RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY: When ya can't 'member what ya paid fer the rifle.
Former Head Of FBI To Probe MF Global Collapse ---------------- He has no subpoena power. Hence, file this under jokes for now.
"Citi was offering double AA miles with purchases made on cyber monday. hahahahaah, citi and AA, a match made in heaven." lmao...
Acorns, MIA. "1st they came for the acorns and I said nothing because I was a walnut..." ps I'll check back later... I have several oaks and hickory trees and dagnabbit, I don't recall them nuts hitting the roof like in the old days.
In a speech in June in Sicily to supporters, Burlesconi said there had been a national poll taken to find out if Italian women in general wanted to sleep with Burlesconi. 1/3 of respondents said, sure why not, and the other 2/3's said, what, again?