Jokes 2

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by gwb-trading, Apr 30, 2007.

  1. Humpy

    Humpy

    Is that in order of merit ?

    And as for the good old days - when Knights were bold and women were grateful
     
    #971     Nov 29, 2007
  2. MrGecko

    MrGecko

    Despite the plethora of beautiful women, it makes me think of the Elephant Man.
     
    #972     Nov 29, 2007
  3. Anybody know the significance of Swanson and Wall St.???

    Basically, while Joe Kennedy was screwing America, Gloria was screwing him to the point of distraction. Kennedy was bankroling movies with money made in bootlegging and Wall St., and she came with the package. While Rose raised that gaggle in cold dark Boston, Joe was in Hollywood playing hide the sausage.

    Back to the Filth.
     
    #973     Nov 29, 2007
  4. Funny. I thought.....

    Does this mean, literally, that sleeping with one, is the same as sleeping with all?

    The issue is that even if they weren't included in the mosaic, that would include the not so good looking women too.....:(

    Something to ponder upon next time I go out partying, I guess....
     
    #974     Nov 29, 2007
  5. Listen to Rodney Carrington's "Dear Penis".

    ......and when you get to drinking, you put me places I"ve never been before...........'

    Do some reading on Mary Pickford. Remarkable. As a kid, a huge star, and went on to form UA with her husband, a Barrymore, I believe. Remarkable business woman.

    Oh, a joke. So the Elephant man is hitting on Vivian Leigh at the Premier of Gone With the Wind, and he asks her if she knows how you can tell the floor is level, skip skip, they build a house and stay married for two years, an eternity in Hollywood.
     
    #975     Nov 29, 2007
  6. MrGecko

    MrGecko

    #976     Nov 29, 2007
  7. MrGecko

    MrGecko

    goddam machine.. here it is
     
    #977     Nov 29, 2007
  8. For my Chicago Trading Thieves:

    A young blonde woman in Joliet, Illinois, was so depressed that she
    decided to end her life by throwing herself into the I&M canal. She went
    down to the docks and was about to leap into the frigid water when a
    handsome young sailor saw her tottering on the edge of the dock, crying.

    He took pity on her and said, "Look, you have so much to live for. I'm off
    to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship.

    I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day." Moving closer,
    he slipped his arm around her shoulders and added, "I'll keep you happy,
    and you'll keep me happy ."

    The girl nodded yes. After all, what did she have to lose? Perhaps a fresh
    start in Europe would give her life new meaning.

    That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a lifeboat.

    From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of
    fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.
    Three weeks later, during a routine inspection, she was discovered by the
    captain.

    "What are you doing here?" the captain asked.

    "I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained. "I get
    food and a trip to Europe, and he's screwing me."

    "He certainly is," the captain said.

    "This is the Empress Casino, and we never leave Joliet!!"
     
    #978     Nov 29, 2007
  9. .....know how the sailor knew the deck was level?????
     
    #979     Nov 29, 2007
  10. Your comment was funnier than the joke.
     
    #980     Nov 29, 2007