Jokes 2

A village in Kenya is missing its idiot.

 

A woman stops a taxi- To the airport, please.
After ten minutes the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says: You are the third pregnant woman that I have driven to the airport today.
Are you kidding me, I am not pregnant.
Well, you haven't arrived to the airport yet neither.

 

...it's not often the driver gives the client the tip.

 

Nope, they would be either up to her nose or between my ears

 

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his
trench coat and flashed her. Without missing a beat, she said, "Sir, I need
to see your ticket not your stub."

 

<img src="http://wesscott0.tripod.com/garbagehumorarchivesjokelog/ejaculator.jpg" alt="some_text"/>

 

My grandfather used to say: "When one doors closes another one opens,"

then my grandmother would say, "you should fix that piece of shit car."

Ahahahahahaha

 

A man goes to the doctors with a hearing problem.

Doc says 'can you describe the symptoms?'

'yes' he says... 'homer is big fat and yellow'...'and marge has blue hair'

 

Q: Where does Ben Bernanke run his printing press operation?

A: In De-basement.

 

An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he
passes a little math test.

'Here's your first question,' the foreman said. 'Without using numbers,
represent the number 9.'

'Withouta numbers?' the Italian says, 'Datsa easy.' and he proceeds to
draw three trees.

'What's this?' the boss asks.

'Ave you gota no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine,' says the
Italian.

'Fair enough,' says the boss. 'Here's your second question. Use the same
rules, but this time the number is 99.'

The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that
he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree . 'Ere you go.'

The boss scratches his head and says, 'How on earth do you get that to
represent 99?'

'Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree,
and dirty tree. Datsa a 99.'

The boss is getting worried that he's going to actually have to hire this
Italian, so he says, 'All right, last question. Same rules again, but
represent the number 100.'

The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture
again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, 'Ere you go.
One hundred.'

The boss looks at the attempt. 'You must be nuts if you think that
represents a hundred!'


The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree
and says, 'A little doga come along and shita by eacha tree. So now you
gota dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd,
data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?