YOU KNOW YOU'RE A HO WHEN...... Your baby looks familiar, but......like who? It takes 2 douches and a spatula at shower time. When you and your cat have the same tongue consistency.
You know yu a Ho when: You've worn a rubber on your tongue......... know several dozen politcians by their first name and have never voted..... Had your finger up more asses than Dr. Kildare Can look at your watch while cooing, "oooh baby! you're the best." you always have cash, but you carry it in your bra. Nutmeg's on speeddial.
Why men should never write advice columns: Dear Walter: I hope you can help me. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I couldn't believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years. When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He'd carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he'd been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him. He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. Can you please help? Sincerely, Mrs. Sheila Usk Dear Sheila: A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the jubilee clips holding the vacuum pipes onto the inlet manifold. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburetor float chamber. I hope this helps. Walter
You know u a ho when, you think "crack spread" is what happens as you age. You think "contango" is a dance you do in the slammer with your cell mate. You think "head and shoulders pattern" is a cutout to train the new girls. Double top is you and your pal doing the same John.
And Now For A Little Bit Of Class: Modern Archaeological Findings After having dug to a depth of 10 meters last year, Italian archaeologist Dr Giovanni Dotto found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that his ancestors already had a telephone network more than 200 years ago. Not to be outdone by the Italians, in the weeks that followed, Turkish archaeologist Dr Kemal Zigber dug to a depth of 20 meters. Shortly thereafter, headlines in Turkish newspapers read: "Turkish Scientists have found traces of 300-year old copper wire, and have concluded that Turks already had an advanced high-tech communications network one hundred years before the Italians! One week later, "The Kathimerini", a distinguished Greek newspaper, reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30-meters in fields near Athens, noted archaeologist Dr Sakis Petropoulos, a self-taught genius, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Sakis has therefore concluded that even as far back as 2500-years ago, Greeks were already using wireless networks!
This lady is having an affair with the exterminator guy. Husband comes home. Wife hides exterminator in the closet. Husband suspicious, looks inside the closet. Finds the guy/ "Hey, what are you doing inside the closet?" 'I am the exterminator guy and was called to your house, I was told you have a problem with moths" 'But why are you inside the closet, completely naked?' "Oh my gosh! You really have a problem with moths!!"
Hickory Dickory Dock My balls fell out of my jock I laid them to rest On some hooker's chest And paddled her face with my cock
Two KGB officers are traveling on a train and telling each other political jokes. - Hold on a second, I'll change the tape, - says one. - Don't bother, you can copy from mine later, - says the other.