I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.
It was a dark and stormy night. Two lawyers at the Florida Attorney General's Office left their government posts this year to take jobs at firms still under investigation by the agency. Ahahahahahaha http://www.heraldtribune.com/articl...ake-jobs-with-firms-under-investigation&tc=ar
So this guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "That's nice, why did you get it"? The parrot said, "I got it to feel less embarassed about the size of my dick".
If there are three glory holes in the club and 28 guys in the circuit, how many rotations will there be before everyone gets a turn? 9 with a remainder of Bob, because Bob cant fit in the glory hole and thats why we all like Bob.
Here it is almost Sunday. Couple Sees Jesus In Walmart Receipt I was going to post a link, ehhhh, you know this is true...... We don't need no stinkin link.
After screwing a fat chick when I was drunk, the next morning I said to her, "Here, if you want to see me again call this number." "Awww, men don't usually give me their numbers," she responded. I said, "It's not mine. It's Weight Watchers."